LEV621 One who disparages another person before others to the extent that he causes the person’s face to change color from shame also violate the prohibition of לֹא־תִשָּׂ֥א עָלָ֖יו חֵֽטְא׃, “Do not bear a sin because of him" (Vayikra 19:17). With this prohibition, the Torah forbids one to humiliate another Jew even when he is rebuking him privately, meaning that one should not rebuke another person in a harsh manner that will cause him to be embarrassed. It is forbidden all the more to shame another person when one is not fulfilling the mitzvah of giving rebuke, or to embarrass him before others. The prohibition to embarrass someone applies even in private. However, if one humiliates another person publicly, then [his sin is far more severe. Indeed,] Chazal excised such a person from the World to Come, as they said, “One who humiliates his friend in public has no share in the World to Come.”

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LEV622 See [[DEUT1507]] Deuteronomy 27:24 secret SEFER 98

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LEV619 I might think that he is to reprove him even if his face turns colors from shame; it is, therefore, written: "and do not bear sin because of [shaming] him" (Erchin 16b)

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LEV623 See [[DEUT456]] Deuteronomy 10:19 stranger CCCBM 79

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LEV637 Some refrain from lending their possessions because of some slight antipathy they harbor against the borrower. This is the worst of all the vices mentioned above. Here, one transgresses the prohibition [this verse]: "You shall not take vengeance or bear any grudge against the children of your people." We have already previously dealt at length with this topic (Part One, Chap. 4, q.v.). One should rather pay regard to himself, recalling how many times he provoked the Holy One, blessed be He, both in word and by deed. Nevertheless the Holy One, blessed be He, does not take revenge or bear any grudge against him in any of his dealings. One should, therefore, act in the same way towards his neighbor. We may assert that this is the intent of [this] verse: "You shall not take vengeance… but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am God." You shall extend towards your neighbor the virtues I extend towards you and towards the world as a whole, since I do not bear any hatred, as stated (Jeremiah 3:12): "For I am merciful, says God, I will not bear a grudge forever."

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LEV631 It is forbidden to be obdurate and not allow oneself to be appeased. On the contrary, one should be easily pacified and difficult to anger. Moreover, when asked by an offender for forgiveness, one should forgive with a sincere mind and a willing spirit. Even if one had been much vexed and grievously wronged, he is not to avenge nor bear a grudge (this verse). (From Maimonides, Mishneh Torah, "Laws of Return" 1:10).

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LEV624 (Obstacles to Forgiving). You, as the victim, have to give up your claims to justice, that you have been wronged and that the offender owes you something. Some of the reticence to do this stems from the human penchant to want to get even and carry a grudge--characteristics that the Torah specifically requires us to suppress in commanding us (this verse). Even if you can overcome your desire to get back at the offender in the mode of "an eye for an eye," you still may feel reluctant to forgive you because you rightfully feel that he or she owes you something.

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LEV627 All of the commandments are either positive or negative. There is no need to explain this in regard to commandments that involve the limbs, for the are known by all. I will mention, however, a few of the positive and negative commandments which occur to me from among the duties of the heart; these will then serve as examples of all the rest. Examples of positive commandments from among the duties of the heart are: to believe that the world has a Creator, who brought it into existence from nonexistence, and that there is none like Him; to acknowledge His unity; to serve Him in one's heart; to contemplate the wonders of His creations and gain evidence of His existence; to put one's trust in Him; to be humble before Him; to be in awe of Him and afraid and ashamed because both our public and private selves are known to Him; to long to do His Will, and let all that one does be for His sake; to love Him and those devoted to Him, so as to become close to Him, and hate those who are His enemies; and any other similar duty which is not carried out externally, through the limbs. Examples of negative commandments from among the duties of the heart are the opposites of the above; also: not to be envious of, revengeful, or grudging with our people, as it is written: “Do not take revenge or bear a grudge against the children of your people” (Leviticus 19:18). Not to dwell on sin, desire it, or decide to do it; and similar matters of conscience which only the Creator knows of, as it is written: “I, God, search the heart and test the mind” (Yirmeyahu 17:10; “The soul of man is the lamp of God, searching all his inmost parts” (Mishlei 20:27).

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LEV634 See [[DEUT205]] Deuteronomy 6:5 heart DUTIES 13-15

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LEV626 [This verse]. Our Sages, z"l, said (Yoma 23a) that the prohibition for bearing a grudge applies only to [an offense] associated with money [and possessions] (I.e., he bears a grudge that the other person refused to lend him a spade, but not because he treated him haughtily, scornfully, or sought his harm); but regarding [an offense through another's] haughtiness, scornfulness, and seeking [his] evil, it is permissible to bear such things within one's heart. Concerning this, our Sages, z"l, said (ibid.), "Any Torah scholar who [when offended] does not take revenge and bear a grudge like a serpent is not a Torah scholar." Nonetheless, if they ask forgiveness he should overlook the injustices done to him.

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