LEV589 Rebuke your fellow for his improper behavior. Constructive criticism brings peace and blessing to the world. When someone wrongs his neighbor, if the victim speaks to the offender about it in private and in soft tones rebukes him for his act, the guilty party will apologize and peace will be restored between them. On the other hand, if the victim remains quiet and does not offer rebuke, he will develop hatred in his heart for the one who wronged him. In time, he will try to take revenge upon him.

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LEV590 [[GEN1098]] See Genesis 20:17 prayed DORFFDRAG 189-90

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LEV594 The Rabbis are ambivalent about this commandment. Arakhin 16b. There are those who question whether there is anyone of sufficient stature to rebuke others and who knows how to do it without public insult, for to rebuke to the point of public humiliation is sinful. The discussion indicates how sensitive the Rabbis were to the possible pitfalls in fulfilling this commandment. However, one feels that the majority believe that one who does not rebuke a sinner when he has the opportunity to do it, partakes of his sin. (Hence also the great virtue attributed to those who are ready to accept criticism. Tamid 28a). The Talmud records the opinion that Jerusalem was destroyed, the righteous perishing with the wicked, because the righteous did not rebuke the transgressors. Shabbat 119b; also, Shabbat 55a, on Ezek.9:4. This commandment seems to encourage the individual who meddles in other people's affairs. It probably often so served. But it is the underlying motivation of all prophetic activity. The prophet is one who cannot be a silent witness to an injustice or impiety and feels the irrepressible need to warn, to rebuke, and to denounce even though he knows he will pay heavily for his meddlesomeness. Jer. 15:10-18, Ps. 69:8-13, 139:21-22. It is this commandment, and the exhortations and personal example of the prophets, that has been the seed, the soil, and the climate to which we can perhaps attribute the presence of so disproportionately large a number of Jewish leaders and workers in the ranks of so many movements aiming to reform or overthrow unjust and oppressive social orders. (Continued at [[DEUT895]] Deuteronomy 16:20 pursue GREENBERG 75).

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LEV588 Q: A merchant in our neighborhood is not patronized by members of our congregation because of the many bad experiences we have had with his service. Of course he has noticed this, but whenever he asks the reason for our abstention, we gave some pretext. Should we just tell him straight out what bothers us? A: Jewish law offers pretty clear guidance on your situation. On the one hand, the Torah commands us to give guidance and admonishment to others, in order to help them improve. On the other hand, this law is limited by a number of reservations meant to avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings. The Torah tells us, "Surely admonish your fellow man, and do not bear sin toward him." (this verse). This verse tells us that we should strive to inform others of ways they can improve themselves; otherwise, we may build up unnecessary resentment and bear sin toward them. At the same time, this admonishment may not come at the expense of insulting them, which would also be a sin. The very next verse tells us "Love your neighbor as yourself." Here are three important limitations on the ethical mandate to admonish others: 1) The admonishment must be gentle. Harsh and demeaning reproof does not fulfill the commandment. Sefer Ha-Hinnukh 239. 2) Admonishment is only a mitzvah if it is effective. The Talmud tells us, "Just as it is a mitzvah to say some thing that will be heard, it is a mitzvah not to say some thing that will not be heard." Yevamot 65b. In general, the tradition urges us to refrain from unnecessary speech; certainly there is no reason to hurt someone's feelings if there will be no practical advantage. 3) Even when it is proper to admonish, it is permissible to refrain if you are afraid that you may be unfairly targeted as a result of the reproof. Many people have an unfortunate tendency to "kill the messenger who bears bad news", and sometimes it is necessary to take this tenancy into account. Shulhan Arukh, Yoreh Deah 334:48 in Rema. Here, then, is some prudent advice for your situation. If you think that this merchant will actually be able to improve his service if you clarify the complaint against him, then it is certainly appropriate to gently explain the true reason for his commercial isolation. But if he seems incorrigible, and particularly if you have a well-grounded concern that the store owner will react in an unpleasant or vindictive way toward you or toward the congregation as a whole, there is no obligation to do so.

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LEV597 When one acts improperly, there is a natural human tendency to withdrawal or even hostility. The Torah, with its emphasis on the perfectibility of mankind, tells us to resist this tendency. Instead of becoming hostile toward others we should reach out to them, gently explaining the basis for our concern. ... An employer who needs to dismiss an underachiever may find it easier to avoid criticizing the worker, saying, for example, that he is trimming the workforce. But here, too, the principle of gentle reproof applies. It would be more helpful for the employee if the employer gently indicates what his deficiencies were, so that he can learn from his experience and seek work better suited to his talents. While doing this may be difficult, omit it only if you are afraid that candor will greatly offend the employee or may harm you by provoking hostility or even litigation.

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LEV578 "You shall rebuke your neighbor" If someone begins to tell you loshon hora, and instead of rebuking him you assist him by listening to his narrative, you violate this commandment. It is important to remember that rebuke should be administered as soon as you realize that the narrative contains loshon hora. Do not wait until the other person finishes speaking. Every single word of loshon hora is a separate transgression, and it is your obligation to stop the other person from sinning.

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LEV579 "You shall rebuke your neighbor) and you shall not bear sin because of him" This versus prohibits us from embarrassing others even when privately delivering rebuke (Erchin 16b). Rebuke must be delivered in a tactful manner that will not cause shame. If you speak loshon hora about a person in his presence and caused him shame, you violate this prohibition. If you shame someone in public, the crime is so severe that it is punishable by the loss of olam haboh (Bava Metzia 59a).

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LEV596 We are obligated to correct others when they transgress. We are commanded to correct someone who behaves improperly, whether in matters pertaining to man's relationship with God or man's relationship with his fellow man. (Chinuch 239). A person should correct his own faults before he corrects others (Bava Basra 60b). This does not free us from rebuking others; rather, it obligates us to correct ourselves first. It must be kept in mind that the goal of rebuke is to correct the wrongdoer. Therefore, a person must weigh each situation very carefully to see what will be the most effective method in that particular instance. It is especially important to exercise caution and tact when the recipient of the rebuke is not an observant Jew and you are trying to influence him to become observant. Tactless reproof can ruin the chances of influencing such a person. Very often a person should not reprove someone immediately, but should wait for an opportune moment. This takes much skill and practice, as well as patience. It is a good idea for a person to consult more experienced people to find out which methods are most effective. As a rule, if someone admonishes in a harsh, stern manner and with comments such as "Why did you do this?" Or "What's the matter with you?" it will not prove effective (see Vilna Gaon's commentary to Mishle 10:20). The most important rule to remember about rebuke is that it must be administered with love and as painlessly as possible. Only when the recipient of rebuke feels that the rebuker loves him, will he readily accept the admonition. [Transcriber's note: Author provides extended discussion of laws of rebuke with examples.]

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LEV595 We are forbidden to embarrass people. This verse prohibits us from embarrassing others, even when delivering a rebuke (Erchin 16b). If you shame someone in public, the offense is so severe that it is punishable by the loss of olam haboh (Bava Metzia 59a). In public is defined as the presence of three or more people (Chofetz Chayim, first footnote in ch. 2). [Transcriber's note: Author provides discussion of basic laws of prohibition against embarrassing others].

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LEV582 At times, one who listens to lashon hara or rechilus transgresses the positive commandment of הֹוכֵ֤חַ תֹּוכִ֙יחַ֙, “You shall surely rebuke” (Vayikra 19:17). For example, if one sees that someone is starting to speak disparagingly about another person, and he knows that his words will have an influence on the speaker--or even if he thinks that there is a chance that his rebuke may be effective—then halachah requires him to rebuke the speaker so that he will not carry on with his sin. Accordingly, if he allows the speaker to finish his derogatory account about the other person, he certainly violates his positive commandment. (Even if one resolves while listening, to rebuke the speaker after he finishes his story, he is still violating halacha. Would a person watch his fellow Jew eat pork, Heaven forbid, and allow him to finish eating, while resolving to rebuke him afterward? According to halachah, one is certainly obligated to reprove the person immediately, for perhaps he will listen to him and stop eating. By doing so he can spare the person from several transgressions, for each and every k’zayis he eats is considered a separate transgression. The same is true with regard to speaking lashon hara, because each derogatory statement that a person makes is considered a separate transgression. An exception can be made, however, in the following cases. If one realizes that if he allows the speaker to finish his story, he will then be able to use the story itself to show the other listeners that the speaker was merely propagating false rumors; or if halachah a requires one to allow the speaker to finish because he is relating information that may be relevant to the listener; then the listener may allow the speaker to finish … but if one realizes that the speaker is just mocking or ridiculing the other person, then it is definitely a great mitzvah for the listener to swiftly rebuke the speaker and stop him from continuing his disparaging remarks.)

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