LEV588 Q: A merchant in our neighborhood is not patronized by members of our congregation because of the many bad experiences we have had with his service. Of course he has noticed this, but whenever he asks the reason for our abstention, we gave some pretext. Should we just tell him straight out what bothers us? A: Jewish law offers pretty clear guidance on your situation. On the one hand, the Torah commands us to give guidance and admonishment to others, in order to help them improve. On the other hand, this law is limited by a number of reservations meant to avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings. The Torah tells us, "Surely admonish your fellow man, and do not bear sin toward him." (this verse). This verse tells us that we should strive to inform others of ways they can improve themselves; otherwise, we may build up unnecessary resentment and bear sin toward them. At the same time, this admonishment may not come at the expense of insulting them, which would also be a sin. The very next verse tells us "Love your neighbor as yourself." Here are three important limitations on the ethical mandate to admonish others: 1) The admonishment must be gentle. Harsh and demeaning reproof does not fulfill the commandment. Sefer Ha-Hinnukh 239. 2) Admonishment is only a mitzvah if it is effective. The Talmud tells us, "Just as it is a mitzvah to say some thing that will be heard, it is a mitzvah not to say some thing that will not be heard." Yevamot 65b. In general, the tradition urges us to refrain from unnecessary speech; certainly there is no reason to hurt someone's feelings if there will be no practical advantage. 3) Even when it is proper to admonish, it is permissible to refrain if you are afraid that you may be unfairly targeted as a result of the reproof. Many people have an unfortunate tendency to "kill the messenger who bears bad news", and sometimes it is necessary to take this tenancy into account. Shulhan Arukh, Yoreh Deah 334:48 in Rema. Here, then, is some prudent advice for your situation. If you think that this merchant will actually be able to improve his service if you clarify the complaint against him, then it is certainly appropriate to gently explain the true reason for his commercial isolation. But if he seems incorrigible, and particularly if you have a well-grounded concern that the store owner will react in an unpleasant or vindictive way toward you or toward the congregation as a whole, there is no obligation to do so.