NUM430 We are forbidden to praise a wicked person. This verse forbids us to flatter a wrongdoer (Sifre). Flattering a wrongdoer is termed chanifus and is a very serious offense. Rabainu Yonah deals with this prohibition at length in Shaarey Tshuvah 3:187-199. Below are some essential excerpts: 1) The worst form of chanifus is when a person sees that someone has transgressed and tells him, "You have not done anything wrong." This will cost the transgressor to repeat his misdeeds. 2) It is considered chanifus to say that an evil person is a good man. Even if you do not actually say that his crimes were the proper thing to do, it is nevertheless wrong to praise him. The righteous despise the wicked, as it is written, "An unjust man is an abomination to the righteous" (Mishle 29:27). 3) failure to censure someone when you are in a position to do so is considered chanifus. Our Sages have said, "Whoever is able to protest against the wrong doings of his household and fails to do so, is held accountable for their behavior. If the person is able to protest against the wrongdoings of the inhabitants of his city and fails to do so, he is held accountable for their behavior. If a person is able to protest against the wrongdoings of the entire world and fails to do so, he is held accountable for their behavior" (Shabbos 44b). ... It is forbidden to flatter someone in order to take advantage of him (Orchos Tzadikim, ch. 24). Although insincere flattery is wrong, it is important that we praise others for their benefit. The late Telzer Rosh Hayeshiva, Rabbi Chayim Mordechai Katz, used to say that appreciative words help a person realize own inherent worth and will encourage him to utilize his attributes to the best of his ability. The Talmud (Eruvin 18b) states that we should say only a part of a person's praise in his presence. Excessive praise gives the appearance of being insincere flattery (Rashi). A sincere compliment, however, is a great chesed.

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DEUT2 Rebuke is most effective when it can be received as being sincere. The Torah emphasizes that Moshe rebuked the Jewish people after he had smitten Sichon and Og. Moses reasoned, "If I rebuke them before they enter at least part of the land, they will say, 'What does this man have against us? What good did he do for us? He has only come to vex us to find a pretext since he doesn't have the power to bring us into land." Therefore, Moshe waited until he had conquered Sichon and Og, and then rebuked the people. (Sifre, cited by Rashi). Had the people felt that Moshe's rebuke was insincere and that he had ulterior motives, his words would have been ineffective. A person will only accept review if he feels that the rebuker has his best interest in mind. We also see from here that timing is a major factor in rebuke. In many instances by waiting for an opportune time to deliver admonition a person will be more successful than he would have been had he admonished earlier.

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DEUT233 The exemplary behavior of a person who studies Torah will encourage the spread of Torah study. The Talmud states in reference to this verse that we must behave in a manner that will cause the Name of Heaven to be beloved. One should study Torah and serve Torah scholars, be honest in his business dealings, and speak pleasantly to others. Then people will say about him, "Fortunate is his father who taught him Torah. Fortunate is his teacher who taught him Torah. Woe to those who have not learned Torah. See how pleasant are the ways and how proper are the actions of this person who has learned Torah." If, however, someone studies Torah and serves Torah scholars, but is not honest in his business dealings and does not speak pleasantly to others, what do people say about him? "Woe to that person who learned Torah. Woe to his father who taught him Torah. Woe to his teacher who taught him Torah. See how corrupt are the actions and how ugly are the ways of this person who has learned Torah." (Yoma 86a) The Sefer Charaidim writes that included in the mitzvah of loving God is the mitzvah of loving a Torah scholar, who studies the word of God. The Talmud states that someone who loves a Torah scholar will be blessed with children who will be Torah scholars. (Shabbos 23b)

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DEUT250 A teacher should consider his students as his children. Rashi cites the Sifre in which it is explained that the term children in this verse refers to one's students, for we always find that students are termed children. From here we see the Torah's concept of the relationship between a teacher and his students: that of a father to a son. A parent is one who gives his child physical life. A Torah teacher gives his students spiritual life. (See Pirke Emunah, pp. 191-196)

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DEUT308 We should go beyond the letter of the law in our dealings with others. The Ramban cites the words of our Sages who explained that this verse exhorts us to go beyond the dictates of the law in our dealings with our fellow man. The Ramban adds that this is a very great principle, since it is impossible for the Torah to actually list every last detail as to how a person should behave with his neighbors and friends. An example of this is when a plot of land is for sale. The owner of a plot of land adjacent to the plot that is for sale should be given the first right to buy it. Even if someone else is interested in acquiring that land, the seller should give his neighbor the option to buy it first. Since someone who owns land bordering on the plot that is for sale will gain more from that plot then others, other interested buyers should purchase elsewhere. (See Rashi, Bava Metzia 108a). The Talmud (Bava Metzia 30b) states that Jerusalem was destroyed because its inhabitants failed to go beyond the letter of the law. Rabbi Zalman of Volozhin explained that this alone was not the cause of the destruction, for they had other transgressions as well. But had they gone beyond the letter of the law in dealing with others, God would have gone beyond the letter of the law in dealing with them. Consequently, Jerusalem would have been saved. (Toldos Odom). Rabbi Eliyahu Lopian used to cite this passage during the month of Ellul (the month preceding Rosh Hashanah). He added that before Rosh Hashanah everyone tries to find extra merits. From here we see that the most effective merit is to go beyond the letter of the law in our dealings with others. (Lev Eliyahu, vol. 2, p. 192). Rabbi Yosef Y. Hurwitz, Rosh Yeshiva of Nevardok, used to say, "Someone who is lax in fulfilling matters that are beyond the obligation of the letter of the law will eventually be lax in fulfilling laws that are explicitly expressed and self-evident." (Tnuas Hamussar, vol. 4, p. 297)

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DEUT351 We must bestow kindness. The Talmud (Yevomos 79a) states that there are three attributes by which the Jewish people are distinguished: they are merciful, they have a sense of shame, and they bestow kindness. The Talmud (Yerushalmi Kidushin 1:1) states that the attribute of bestowing kindness is derived from this verse. This statement appears quite difficult. The versus states that God will bestow kindness, but where do we see that the Jewish people bestow kindness? Rabbi Boruch Epstein explained thus: God deals with a person as that person deals with others (Sotah 9b). Therefore, if the Torah states that God will bestow kindness upon the Jewish people, it is implied that they themselves bestow kindness upon others. (Torah Temimah, this verse).

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DEUT459 We must be especially careful to have compassion on converts to Judaism. This is a positive commandment. Although we are obligated to love all Jews, there is an additional commandment to love a convert to Judaism. The verse ends by mentioning that we also felt the discomfort of being strangers and therefore we must act to alleviate this discomfort for others. By extension we should learn from this commandment to befriend anyone who is a stranger in town. (Chinuch 431) ... If you see a stranger in town, take the initiative to welcome him. Very often you will be able to give him invaluable advice. Even if you are unable to offer him tangible assistance, a friendly word to a stranger is a great kindness in itself. It is not sufficient to merely shake hands with a stranger and then walk away as if fulfilling a ritual. You must sincerely care about his welfare and try to assist him. ... If you see someone standing on a street corner with a map in his hand, it usually means that he needs help. Try to assist him if you can.

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DEUT475 We should cleave to Torah scholars. This verse commands us to cleave to Torah scholars in order that we should learn from the Torah's commandments from them. If someone is able to be together with a Torah scholar or is able to assist him and fails to do so, he has violated this commandment. Someone who remains in the company of Torah scholars will not be quick to sin. (Chinuch 434). The Rambam writes: It is the very nature of man to be influenced in opinion and action by his friends and colleagues and to behave like the people around him. Therefore, we must cleave to righteous people and sit near scholars in order to learn and be influenced by their actions. We must keep away from the wicked in order not to learn from their behavior. If you live in a place where people do not behave properly, you should move to a place where the inhabitants are righteous. If this is not possible, you should dwell alone. (Hilchos Daios 6:1). A man should try to marry the daughter of a Torah scholar. A parent should try to have his daughter marry a Torah scholar. We should eat and do business with Torah scholars. (ibid. 6:2)

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DEUT520 If we hear that someone did or said something improper, we should not accept it as the absolute truth. The Chofetz Chayim cites the statement of the Rambam that from this verse we can see the dangers involved in taking words out of context. If we begin reading from the middle of this verse, we will read, "serve strange Gods," which is the exact opposite of what the Torah is telling us. So too when we hear that someone has broken or acted against us. Very often if we would hear the entire original statement, we would see that it was not meant to be malicious or spiteful. Therefore, let us give people the benefit of the doubt and judge them favorably. (B'air Mayim Chayim, positive commandment 3)

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DEUT546 Even someone who has reached the highest levels of closeness with God is obligated to think about the welfare of his fellow man. The Torah tells us that even someone who observes all the commandments and has attained the attribute of loving God, must emulate God ("to walk in all His ways") in order to cleave to Him. Emulating God means being compassionate and bestowing kindness on others (see Rashi). One might think that a person who loves God need only devote himself to prayer and Torah study and by this means he will cleave to God. We see from this verse, however, that an essential ingredient in cleaving to God is caring about our fellow man. (Introduction to Ahavas Chesed).

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