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GENESIS — 31:39 never

GEN1349 If we are asked to care for someone’s belongings, we must do so to the best of our ability.   During the twenty years Yaakov was with Lovon, Yaakov served his with the utmost loyalty.  The worst weather did not cause him to desist from the watchful care of Lovon’s flock.   Yaakov paid for every accidental loss, although he bore no responsibility to do so.   His extreme trustworthiness as custodian of Lovon’s flock was a remarkable exercise of virtue, and should serve as a model for us to follow.  (Rabbi Abigdor Miller in Behold a People, p. 74).   PLYN 105

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GENESIS — 32:33 thigh

GEN1399 We are obligated to accompany people who leave our house.   The Daas Zkainim explains the reason for the prohibition against eating the thigh-vein in the following manner: The night before Yaakov’s confrontation with Aisav, Yaakov was left by himself.   He was attacked and in the ensuing struggle Yaakov was wounded in the thigh. Yaakov’s children behaved inconsiderately in leaving their father by himself; they should have remained with him.   Therefore the Almighty imposed upon Yaakov’s descendants a prohibition against eating the thigh muscle in order to insure that they would remember to accompany others.   When someone leaves our house, we are obligated to accompany him at least four amos (app. 8 feet) SMA, Choshen Mispot 427:11.   We must show the visitor the way and wan him of any pitfalls. Ahavas Chesed, part 3, ch. 2.   PLYN 107

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GENESIS — 33:18 arrived

GEN1409 When you visit a place, contribute to its welfare.   The Talmud Shabbat 33b states that when Yaakov encamped by Shechem, he instituted something for the welfare of the city.   Rav said that he minted coins.   Shmuel said that he established markets, and Rabbi Yochanan said that he set up bathhouses for the residents of the area.   The Midrash Genesis Rabbah 79:6 adds that whenever we benefit from a place, we must show our gratitude by doing something for its welfare.   Rabbi Chayim Shmuelevitz commented that this principled also applies to someone who comes to a yeshiva.   Although a student might not be able to assist in the physical betterment of the yeshiva, he is able to assist in the spiritual betterment.  How? By serving as a good example of others.   He should come to davening and seder (study sessions) on time so that others will do likewise.  PLYN 108

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GENESIS — 37:2 reports

GEN1438 A child is forbidden to tell his parents derogatory information about his brothers and sisters before he himself has admonished them.   The Chofetz Chayim notes that Yosef did not relate derogatory information about his brothers to anyone else besides their father.   Furthermore, his intentions were constructive and not malicious.  Nevertheless, Yosef’s report was improper, since he should have admonished his brothers and tried to correct their apparent misdeeds before speaking to his father about them.  Had he reproved his brothers, they would have been able to show him that he was mistaken (see Sifsai Chachomim).  Because he failed to go directly to them first, Yosef was punished (Rashi).   Shmiras Haloshon 2:11).   PLYN 109

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GENESIS — 37:3 loved

GEN1444 Parents must be careful not to favor one child over the other.   The Talmud comments on [this verse] that parents must never favor one child over anther.   Because of the many-colored coat which Yaakov gave to Yosef and not to any of this other sons, Yosef’s brothers became jealous.   The eventual outcome as that our forefathers went down to Egypt and were enslaved. (Shabbat 10b, see Tosfos).   Parents must always be on the alert that their actions or words should not create jealousy.  The consequences of jealousy among brothers and sisters can be tragic, and we must be careful to avoid doing anything that will breed it.   Statements such as, “Why don’t you study with the diligence of your brother?” or “Why aren’t you as well-behaved as your sister?” are bound to cause ill feelings.  Some parents might think that their children love and respect one another to such an extent that they are incapable of feeling jealously towards each other.   However, just because a child does not overtly show envy, does not mean that envy is not present.   PLYN 110

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GENESIS — 38:1 left

GEN1470 If we refrain from legitimately rebuking someone, he will eventually be angry at us.   Rashi explains that Yehuda left his brothers because of the selling of Yosef.   Yehuda’s brothers removed him from his rank as leader when they saw the grief of their father over the loss of Yosef. They said to Yehuda, “You said to sell him.   Had you said to return him, we would have listed to you.”   Rabbi Yeruchom Levovitz notes that at first Yosef’s brothers wanted to kill him and in the end because of Yehuda’s advice they sold sold him.   Even though Yehuda saved them from committing a more heinous crime, they were angry at him for allowing them to sell Yosef.  This behavior is typical of someone who regrets his crime after having committed it; he reproaches others for not having prevented him.   … There always comes a time, said the Chofetz Chayim, when a person who has done wrong has grievances against others for failing to stop him; if not in this world, then in the world to come.   (Daas Torah: Limuday Mussray Hatorah, vol. 1, pp. 224-225). PLYN 110-1

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GENESIS — 38:24 burned

GEN1486 A person should rather give up his life than publicly shame someone.   … The sages Baba Metzia 59a said that a person who shames another in public loses his share in the world to come. They did not say this concerning someone who committed murder, because a murderer might repent and retain his share in the next world. When a person shames another, however, he is unaware of the enormity of his transgression, and it will not occur to him to repent.  Shaarey Tshuvah 3:139, 141.  Because of the gravity of embarrassing someone in public, the Chofetz Chayim warns us not to join the company of people who are likely to shame others.   If you join such a group, you too are apt to make some comment that will embarrass another person.   If for some reason you are unable to leave such a group, be on your guard: Even if you happen to think of something funny about someone, do not say it Chovas Hashirmah.   PLYN 111-2

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GENESIS — 40:6 distraught

GEN1515 We should try to cheer people up when we see that they are despondent.   … When Yosef noticed that Pharaoh’s officials were dejected, he asked them the cause.   Yosef had good reason to keep to himself and concern himself only with his own welfare.  He had been sold into slavery by his brothers, and now he was in prison due to a false accusation.  Nevertheless, he cared about his fellow man, and when he saw someone with a problem he was eager to help.  The Chofetz Chayim writes that although it is usually commendable to speak as little as possible, it is a moral obligation to boost the spirits of someone who is dejected, by conversing with him at length. (Chovas Hashirah). PLYN 113-4

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GENESIS — 41:12 youth

GEN1521 Even when praising someone, be careful not to mention his faults.   … Rashi comments on the butler’s statement to Pharaoh: “Cursed be the wicked, for even their goodness is not complete. The butler praises Yosef’s ability, but in contemptuous terms: “naar” (a lad): a fool, and not fit for greatness; “Hebrew”: he does not even know our language; “a slave:” and it is written in the statutes of Egypt that a slave cannot rule nor don royal garments.” Rabbi Yeruchom Levovitz commented that the butler actually meant to speak well of Yosef, for Yosef had been kind to him.   Nevertheless, a completely favorable statement will never emerge from the lips of wicked person.   Even when praising someone, he will off-handedly add a derogatory comment.  Every person should check his own behavior with regard to this pitfall.   When you speak favorably of someone, do you habitually add something unfavorable? (Daas Torah, vol. 1, p. 240).   PLYN 117-8

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GENESIS — 42:7 harshly

GEN1532 Even if you must act harshly toward someone, inwardly you must feel love.   … On the words “Yosef recognized his brother,” Rashi cites the Midrash which notes that when they were handed over to his authority, he recognized them as brothers and therefore had compassion for them, despite their lack of compassion when they sold him.   Rabbi Chayim Shmuelevitz comments that we see the greatness of Yosef from his behavior toward his brothers. He did not want to reveal his true identify to them until they realized and admitted their sin.   Or, as the Kli Yokor says, he wanted their difficult experience in Egypt to serve as an atonement for their having wronged him. But though he outwardly acted gruffly toward them, inwardly he felt compassion.   This is true greatness, for as it is written in Mesilas Yeshorim, “revenge is sweeter than honey.”   It is easier for a person to act kindly toward someone who has harmed him, than to outwardly act harshly, yet inwardly feel love.   PLYN 118-9

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