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GENESIS — 28:1 blessed

GEN1259 Before you admonish someone, let him know that you sincerely care about him. The Chofetz Chayim used to say that we should learn from Yitzchok the most effective way of admonishing others.  Before Yitzchok warned his son Yaakov what not to do, he blessed him.   Often, you will not be able to correct someone by shouting at him. (Even if you are successful, you will have hurt the other person’s feelings, and will have caused ill-will.)   But if you show a person first that you truly care about his welfare, he will more readily listen to your admonition. (HaChofetz Chayim, vol. 3, p. 1114).  PLYN 97

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GENESIS — 28:20 vow

GEN1278 Pray to God to save you from loshon hora.   The Midrash explains that Yaakov’s request was the God might keep him from speaking loshon hora. Genesis Rabbah 70:4.   The Chofetz Chayim writes that we should learn two lessons from Yaakov’s behavior: 1) When we find ourselves in physical danger, we should be especially careful not to speak loshon hora.  When one is in danger and needs God’s help to be saved, loshon hara may discourage God from extending His assistance.   For this reason, knowing that his uncle was a cunning man, Yaakov requested to be saved from speaking loshon hora. (Shiras Haloshon 2:10).   2) When we find ourselves in danger of speaking against other people, we should pray to God to save us from loshon hara.  Yaakov was on his way to Lovon’s house and feared that he would be detrimentally influenced by him; hence his request to be saved from speaking loshon hora. (Z’chor L’Miriam).  PLYN 98

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GENESIS — 29:4 friends

GEN1289 We should speak in a polite and friendly manner to everyone. Toward the end of the journey to his Uncle Lovon’s home, Yaakov met some shepherds.   Rabbi Naftoli Tzvi Berlin writes that it was Yaakov’s practice to speak in a polite and friendly manner to everyone.   Therefore he called these shepherds whom he had never seen before “my brothers.” (Haamek Dovor, on this verse).   PLYN 99

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GENESIS — 29:6 well

GEN1291 Inquire about a person’s status and welfare before meeting him. Yaakov inquired about the welfare of Lovon before he met him.   He did this because a guest should not greet his host in the same manner when the host is joyous as when he is unhappy (Sforno).   Similarly, it is beneficial to inform someone that another person is divorced or childless in order to prevent him from saying something that could prove embarrassing.  PLYN 99

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GENESIS — 29:7 still

GEN1293 We should protest against injustice even if we do not know the person who is being wronged.  When Yaaakov saw the cattle lying down (verse 2), he thought that the shepherds were preparing to herd the cattle into their pen. Therefore, Yaakov reminded the shepherds that it was still day and there was still time for the cattle to graze.   That is, if they were hired men, they had not yet completed a day’s work for their employer. (Midrash cited by Rashi).   Although Yaakov did not know the owners of the sheep, he nonetheless admonished the shepherds not to be lax in their obligation to their employers.   The righteous man is repulsed by wrongdoing, even when it is committed by strangers against strangers. (Sforno).   All too many people have lost their sensitivity to preventing others from being dishonest, even though they themselves are honest. A friend of mine recently told me that while he was riding in a bus, someone sneaked in through the back door to avoid paying his fare.   When my friend politely told him that he ought to pay the driver of the bus, several other passengers called out, “Why does it bother you? Leave him alone.” We must learn from our father Yaakov to abhor dishonesty and act accordingly.   PLYN 100

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GENESIS — 29:25 why

GEN1299 Rebuke someone who has cheated you; but do not become angry.   Yaakov’s self-control is amazing.   After laboring seven full years for Rochel’s hand in marriage, he had been deceived.  Instead of being married to Rochel, he was tricked by Lovon into marrying Leah. Most men would have become furious.  Yaakov, however, did not become angry.  He merely admonished Lovon and asked him what his motive was. (Rabbi Yeruchom Levovitz in Daas Torah: Limudai Mussray Hatorah, vol, p. 183). PLYN 101

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GENESIS — 30:2 can I

GEN1315 Be especially careful how you speak to someone who is suffering.   Sforno explains that Yaakov grew angry at Rochel because she said, “Give me,” implying that her bearing a child was dependent on Yaakov, rather than on God’s will.   His anger was for the Almighty’s honor and this took precedence even over his love for Rochel.  Nevertheless, we find in the Midrash Genesis Rabbah 71:7 that Yaakov should have controlled his anger.  Despite the justice of his rebuke, he should have appreciated the immensity of Rochel’s suffering and not have spoken so sharply.   For this lack of consideration he was punished. (Rabbi Yeruchom Levovitz in Daas Torah, vol. 1, pp. 184-185). — PLYN 101-2

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GENESIS — 31:32 alive

GEN1345 We must always weigh our words carefully to make sure that they will not cause harm.  Rashi cites the Midrash Genesis Rabbah 74:4 which states that because of this curse Rochel died shortly thereafter.   The Chofetz Chayim learns from this episode how crucial it is for a person to scrutinize each word carefully before he utters it.   Sforno writes that Yaakov assumed that one of his servants must have stolen the idols in order to worship them.   It did not occur to him that his own wife took them for a constructive purpose – to prevent his father from worshipping them!   Before we say anything, we must always be careful that no harm can conceivably result from our words. (Chofetz Chayim al Hatorah, on this verse).  PLYN 102-3

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GENESIS — 31:36 incensed

GEN1347 We should be careful not to speak harshly even when angry.   The Midrash Genesis Rabbah 74:10 makes note of Yaakov’s self-control despite his anger.  Lovon accused Yaakov of stealing his idols. After Lovon had inspected all of Yaakov’s possessions and did not find anything, Yaakov felt that Lovon had fabricated the entire accusation (Sforno). But despite his anger, Yaakov did not say anything that would antagonize Lovon or stir up animosity and rancor.   He merely defended himself against accusation and restated his own innocence.  The Chofetz Chaim said that from here we learn that a person should avoid becoming involved in a dispute, even when he knows that he is in the right.   (Chofetz Chayim al Hatorah, on this verse).   PLYN 103-4

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GENESIS — 31:37 myself

GEN1348 We must be careful not to take even the smallest item from someone without permission.   After Lovon had inspected all of Yaakov’s vessels and utensils, Yaakov challenged him to produce even one needle that was rightfully his Genesis Rabbah 74:10. Yaakov and his dependents lived with his father-in-law for twenty years, yet during the entire period he was careful not to take even the smallest object without permission.   Someone who is not careful about taking small things that do not belong to him is apt to actually steal.   PLYN 104

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