GEN1128 A
mishnah [
Ethics of the Fathers 1:6] … uses a strange verb in referring to becoming friends. In quoting the statement of Yehosuah Ben Prachya about how to properly behave in life, the
mishnah says “acquire for yourself a friend.” But the literal translation is “Buy yourself a friend.” How does one buy a friend? Is friendship, then, a function of wealth? It is clear that the means of buying referred to in the
mishnah is not money. Rather, just as a money transaction is, in reality, an exchange of money for a good or service, so, too, a friendship is an exchange. The material of exchange in a friendship is mutual experience and giving to the other person. Thus, a friendship is “bought” through an exchange of give and take, a giving of oneself and a receiving from the other person. The word for friend,
chaver, comes from the Hebrew verb
lechaber, to unite to blend together. Thus, two friends unite into one by each giving of himself or herself to acquire that friendship. Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsh
Commentary to this verse claims that the meaning of the word for love or friendship,
ahav, is derived from two Aramaic words meaning “I give.” Thus, friendship implies giving more than taking. AMEMEI 77
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