LEV575 The medieval Sefer HaChinnuch, an exposition of the Torah's 613 commandments, notes that one who makes known his hatred does not violate the biblical commandment against hatred (although such a person violates the law to "Love your neighbor as yourself," and might well come to violate the Torah's prohibition against bearing a grudge [Leviticus 19:18).

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LEV573 Express your anger directly to the person who offended you. Many people, afraid to confront the other person, instead share their anger with others, thereby besmirching their opponent's good name. The Rabbis understood the law [this verse] as meaning that when you have a grievance, you should neither hold it in nor share it with others. Rather, you should go directly to the person and inform him of what he has done to hurt you. There is much wisdom in William Blake's poem "A Poison Tree": "I was angry with my friend; I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe; I told it not, my wrath did grow." As a general rule, it is wisest not to confront the person with whom you are angry when you are at the height of your rage, since it is difficult at such moments to express your anger fairly. Obviously, we should also be cautious about expressing anger to someone in a position to do us harm; the goal of expressing anger is to improve our situation with the other party, not worsen it.

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LEV574 The biblical law [this verse] implies that not all anger should be repressed. The Bible does not forbid all hatred, but only that which you are keeping secret. Therefore it is best to tell the person who has offended you why you are angry, because doing so might lead to a change in the person's behavior or to an apology--and to reconciliation. Rashi, commenting on Numbers 12:9, suggests that you should not become angry at someone without first telling the person what he is doing that has upset you. Once you have done this (and your reason is valid), then, if the person does not alter his behavior, you have the right to be angry at him.

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LEV577 … the moral responsibility expressed in the maxim [extends] to any individual, even a stranger, who has it in his power to correct an offender. If he fails to do so, he shares the offender's guilt. This warning was spelled out by Nachmanides (13th cent.) in his comment on [this verse]: "If you fail to rebuke him, you are at fault, and his sin is also your sin." Some of the talmudic comments on admonition reflect a profound understanding of human nature. The failure of parents to correct their offspring is taken by the children as a sign of parental indifference. Reproach, on the other hand, is regarded as proof of concern and love.

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LEV592 The duty of admonishing is open-ended. If unsuccessful at first, one must try again and again (Sifra, this verse).

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LEV587 It is a positive commandment to upbrade a sinner as Scripture says, you shall surely rebuke your fellow [this verse]. He is to inform him that he does himself a wrong by his evil acts; and he is to inform him that he is telling him this only for his own benefit, to bring him to life in the world-to-come. It is his duty to reprimand him until he listens to him, or until he strikes him and says, "I will not listen to you." There are some early authorities who are lenient about this, holding that it is enough until there is an angry retort [that the other gives us and rejecting our efforts]. But even the first view applies specifically when the person violates a prohibition by Torah law, and when he estimates that it will be effective for the future, that the other person will not do this thing again. Even a person of lower stature is duty-bound to rebuke a person of higher stature. Whoever has it in his power to oppose [a sinner in his act] and does not do so, falls victim to the guilt of his sin. Now, even though it is a religious duty to rebuke him [a sinner], he should not shame him first. It is a religious requirement to accept rebuke and to bear the chastiser affection. We find in the teachings of the Sages (Talmud Bavli, Shabbath 40a) that even if a person willfully violates a prohibition enacted by the Sages, it is permissible to call him a transgressor.

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LEV589 Rebuke your fellow for his improper behavior. Constructive criticism brings peace and blessing to the world. When someone wrongs his neighbor, if the victim speaks to the offender about it in private and in soft tones rebukes him for his act, the guilty party will apologize and peace will be restored between them. On the other hand, if the victim remains quiet and does not offer rebuke, he will develop hatred in his heart for the one who wronged him. In time, he will try to take revenge upon him.

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LEV590 [[GEN1098]] See Genesis 20:17 prayed DORFFDRAG 189-90

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LEV594 The Rabbis are ambivalent about this commandment. Arakhin 16b. There are those who question whether there is anyone of sufficient stature to rebuke others and who knows how to do it without public insult, for to rebuke to the point of public humiliation is sinful. The discussion indicates how sensitive the Rabbis were to the possible pitfalls in fulfilling this commandment. However, one feels that the majority believe that one who does not rebuke a sinner when he has the opportunity to do it, partakes of his sin. (Hence also the great virtue attributed to those who are ready to accept criticism. Tamid 28a). The Talmud records the opinion that Jerusalem was destroyed, the righteous perishing with the wicked, because the righteous did not rebuke the transgressors. Shabbat 119b; also, Shabbat 55a, on Ezek.9:4. This commandment seems to encourage the individual who meddles in other people's affairs. It probably often so served. But it is the underlying motivation of all prophetic activity. The prophet is one who cannot be a silent witness to an injustice or impiety and feels the irrepressible need to warn, to rebuke, and to denounce even though he knows he will pay heavily for his meddlesomeness. Jer. 15:10-18, Ps. 69:8-13, 139:21-22. It is this commandment, and the exhortations and personal example of the prophets, that has been the seed, the soil, and the climate to which we can perhaps attribute the presence of so disproportionately large a number of Jewish leaders and workers in the ranks of so many movements aiming to reform or overthrow unjust and oppressive social orders. (Continued at [[DEUT895]] Deuteronomy 16:20 pursue GREENBERG 75).

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LEV588 Q: A merchant in our neighborhood is not patronized by members of our congregation because of the many bad experiences we have had with his service. Of course he has noticed this, but whenever he asks the reason for our abstention, we gave some pretext. Should we just tell him straight out what bothers us? A: Jewish law offers pretty clear guidance on your situation. On the one hand, the Torah commands us to give guidance and admonishment to others, in order to help them improve. On the other hand, this law is limited by a number of reservations meant to avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings. The Torah tells us, "Surely admonish your fellow man, and do not bear sin toward him." (this verse). This verse tells us that we should strive to inform others of ways they can improve themselves; otherwise, we may build up unnecessary resentment and bear sin toward them. At the same time, this admonishment may not come at the expense of insulting them, which would also be a sin. The very next verse tells us "Love your neighbor as yourself." Here are three important limitations on the ethical mandate to admonish others: 1) The admonishment must be gentle. Harsh and demeaning reproof does not fulfill the commandment. Sefer Ha-Hinnukh 239. 2) Admonishment is only a mitzvah if it is effective. The Talmud tells us, "Just as it is a mitzvah to say some thing that will be heard, it is a mitzvah not to say some thing that will not be heard." Yevamot 65b. In general, the tradition urges us to refrain from unnecessary speech; certainly there is no reason to hurt someone's feelings if there will be no practical advantage. 3) Even when it is proper to admonish, it is permissible to refrain if you are afraid that you may be unfairly targeted as a result of the reproof. Many people have an unfortunate tendency to "kill the messenger who bears bad news", and sometimes it is necessary to take this tenancy into account. Shulhan Arukh, Yoreh Deah 334:48 in Rema. Here, then, is some prudent advice for your situation. If you think that this merchant will actually be able to improve his service if you clarify the complaint against him, then it is certainly appropriate to gently explain the true reason for his commercial isolation. But if he seems incorrigible, and particularly if you have a well-grounded concern that the store owner will react in an unpleasant or vindictive way toward you or toward the congregation as a whole, there is no obligation to do so.

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