NUM22 Do not put frankincense into the meal offering of the suspect wife. Frankincense enhances an offering for it gives it a pleasant fragrance. It is not fitting to enhance the offering of a woman who has sinned and whose moral worth has been called into question. Also, our Sages teach that righteous and modest wives and mothers of our nation are called לבונה (levonah), “frankincense,” but the suspect wife deviated from this path.

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NUM23 Do not put oil into the meal offering of the suspect wife. Key concepts: The offering of the suspect wife may not be enhanced. Oil is a means for providing light, and her act was done in darkness. Also, since she behaved like an animal, her offering is from barley, the cheapest and most coarse type of grain, which usually is used for animal fodder. The Ramban explains that the husband brings this offering at his expense, for knowing that his wife disobeyed his warning and secluded herself with another man, he wants Hashem to take vengeance upon her. He brings the offering of שעורים (s’orim), barley, because the word שעורים (s’orim) is like סער (s’oar), “storm” or “tempest,” and the Prophet says (Yirmeyahu 23:19), “הִנֵּ֣ה סַעֲרַ֣ת יְהוָ֗ה חֵמָה֙ יָֽצְאָ֔ה וְסַ֖עַר מִתְחֹולֵ֑ל עַ֛ל רֹ֥אשׁ רְשָׁעִ֖ים יָחֽוּל׃ ”--Behold the storm wind of Hashem. Fury has gone forth. It is whirling tempest and shall fall upon the head of the wicked.” The bitter waters are put into an earthenware vessel as a sign of breaking her like earthenware. Earth is mixed into the water as a sign that she should die and return to the dust. As to the prohibition on oil, we can add that when oil is put with other liquids, it always rises to the top. Such a woman, who has acted immorally, must be put to shame and be brought down from her heights. Thus, her offering can contain no oil. Oil is a symbol of wellbeing and excellence, for it is a means of providing light and majesty. Kings and high priests are anointed with it, so this offering must be void of it. In sum, we must realize that when a person perverts his deeds, all his ways will bring him nothing but shame and humiliation. On the other hand, when a person behaves with virtue, Hashem is good to him, and he will have happiness, joy and honor.

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NUM24 From here it is derived that capital cases are opened with the defense of the accused (Sanhedrin 32b)

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NUM25 We must forgo our honor in order to make peace between husband and wife. When the Bais Hamikdosh was in existence, a woman who was suspected of infidelity had a means of proving her innocence. She would come to the Bais Hamikdosh where a priest would give her a special drink in which was placed a section of the Torah with God's name. If she was guilty, she would miraculously die from it. If she was free from guilt, she would benefit from the potion and her innocence would be proven beyond any doubt. Although under normal circumstances it is forbidden to erase God's name, it is permissible in order to make peace between a husband and wife. ... Husbands and wives themselves should overlook slights to their honor in order to facilitate having a peaceful atmosphere in their home. (Maaneh Rach, ch. 12). The Pele Yoatz (section chomov) writes that in-laws should be especially careful not to cause strife and disputes. If the parents of a husband or wife see a fault in their son-in-law or daughter-in-law they should not mention it to their child. Relating such derogatory information can cause much suffering.

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NUM26 See [[EXOD295]] Exodus 18:20 way BLOCH 114-5

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NUM27 Two provisions of the modesty laws with regard to women are so troubling that they divide Orthodox Jews even today. The first teaches that a woman's hair is powerfully erotic; therefore, no one but her husband should ever see it. For "Never even letting the beams of my house see my hair" (Yer. Meg. 1:12), the modest Kimhit merited having seven sons, who all served as high priest in the Temple. A sermon derived from the bitter water ritual during Temple times tests a woman [but never a man] suspected of adultery (Numbers 5:11–31). It allowed the priest to violate tzeniyut [modesty] when judging her: "When the priest uncovers the head of a suspected adulterous he says to her: 'You have departed from the ways of the daughters of Israel, whose habit is to have their heads covered, and you have behaved like the idolatrous women who walk about with their heads uncovered. Here then, be as you wanted to be!'" (Num. R. 9:16). This rule about covering a woman's hair has led many orthodox women to wear wigs in public. Recently Ovadia Yossef, the former Sephardic chief rabbi of Israel and that community's halakhic authority, reacted to the fashionable wigs that some women wear by condemning this practice as extreme immodesty; it draws attention to women in public places. He predicted that both the wig and its wearer would burn in hell and that, should a woman dare to come to synagogue so "coifed," both she and her husband should be excommunicated. The other rule applies to men and says that merely listening to a woman's voice is a grave sexual violation. "Samuel taught: A woman's voice is a gross sexual provocation, as it is written, 'For your voice is sweet and your appearance comely' [S. of S. 2:14]" (Ber. 24a). Thus those who observe this ruling may not attend the opera or theater, or even listen to women on radio, television, or recordings. Of course, you don't need us to tell you that modern women find these rabbinic attitudes regarding women's modesty reprehensible. The rabbis' promised reward for following the laws of tzeniyut, that women would bear prominent male offspring, insults the feminine sensibility even further. How different is the preferred notion of privacy, with respect for the dignity of women as its benchmark. A comprehensive reworking of Jewish modesty is clearly overdue. But this time the leadership must come from our feminist thinkers, who have already demonstrated their creative sensitivity in other areas traditionally restricted to male points of view. We look to them for guidance, to help us refigure reasonable standards of Jewish modesty and demeanor, in speech, interests, and in general behavior of both sexes.

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NUM28 The Supreme Value of Human Life. The value with which human life is regarded in the Jewish tradition is maximized far beyond the value placed upon human life in the Christian tradition or in Anglo–Saxon common law. In Jewish law and moral teaching the value of human life is supreme and takes presidence over virtually all other considerations. This attitude is the most eloquently summed up in a Talmudic passage regarding the creation of Adam: "Therefore only a single human being was created in the world, to teach that if any person has caused a single soul of Israel to perish, Scripture regards him as if he had caused an entire world to perish; and if any human being saves a single soul of Israel, Scripture regard him as if he had saved an entire world." (Sanhedrin 37a). Human life is not a good to be preserved as a condition of other values but as an absolute basic and precious good in its own stead. The obligation to preserve life is commensurately all-encompassing. Life with suffering is recorded as being, in many cases, preferable to cessation of life and with elimination of suffering. The Talmud, Sotah 22a, and Maimonides, Hilkhot Sotah 3:20, indicate that the adulterous woman who was made to drink "the bitter water" (Numbers 5:11-31) did not always die immediately. If she possessed other merit, even though guilty of the offense with which she was charged, the waters, rather than causing her to perish immediately, produced a debilitating and degenerative state which led to a protracted termination of life. The added longevity, although accompanied by pain and suffering, is viewed as a privilege bestowed in recognition of meritorious actions. (See also Tosafot Yom Tov, Sotah 1:9 and R. Eliezer Waldenberg, Assia, Nisan 5728, pp. 18-19). Life accompanied by pain is thus viewed as preferable to death. (See R. Eliezer Waldenberg, Ziz Eli'ezer, IX no. 47, sec. 5, who declares that despite the presence of pain everything possible must be done, even on the Sabbath, to prolong life "even (sic) the patient himself cries, 'Let me be and do not give me any aid because for me that is preferable.' See also R. Jehiel Michal Tucatzisky, Ha-Torah ve-ha-Medinah, IV (1952), 39). It is this sentiment which is reflected in the words of the Psalmist: Tthe Lord has indeed punished me, but He has not left me to die" (Psalms 118:88).

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NUM29 See [[NUM21]] Numbers 5:14 jealousy AMJV 166

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NUM30 It was taught: He shall warn her: not in the midst of frivolity, or casual talk, or light-headedness, or strife, or fright [But in reasoned, serious manner]. If he did warn her in one of the above states, what is the halachah? It is as we have said: Wherever "statute" or "law" is mentioned, the halachah is categorical [i.e., if not observed as stated, it is non-ineffective] (Yerushalmi Sotah 1:1)

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NUM31 Another Talmudic passage discusses the topic of gossip and innuendo and how we should react to it. The first part of the passage says, "where there is smoke there must be fire"-i.e., that every accusation has some truth to it, be it only the intent to commit the sin the person is accused of. The next part of the passage shows that Moses himself was accused of adultery, and then explains that Moses had an enemies (Mo'ed Katan 18b). Thus, anytime a person has enemies in the community, accusations (without specific proof) can be disregarded as the attempt of enemies trying to destroy a person. Finally, it says that the usual cycle for rumors, and accusations last a day and a half. If the same rumors persist long after that and the person has no known enemies, they can be taken seriously. One Talmudic commentary states this specifically: when a rumor persists in the community regarding sins of a sexual nature, and when the sins continue for a long period, it is permitted to flog this person as punishment, provided he has no enemies (Yam Shel Shlomo on Yevamot 10:20). Regarding the husband who suspects his wife of adultery in the Torah (the topic of Sotah), one commentary explains why the husband is not considered a sinner, even if it turns out that the wife was not an adulteress. He explains that after the husband warned his wife not to be seen with the other man, she simply disregarded the warning, and her suspicious behavior alone made her worthy of the accusation by the husband (Seforno commentary on this verse). Thus, all the circumstances surrounding an accusation must be taken in account before acting or not acting upon it. Sefer Yerai'im states that while we may not believe Lashon Harah (evil or slanderous speech) as truth, a person may nevertheless treat the person spoken about with suspicion. (Sefer Yerai'im 192). And if other factors substantiate the rumor, then one may indeed act upon the "slanderous speech." This is the law according to one authority (Sefer Mitzvot HaGadol, Lo Ta'ase 10).

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