EXOD486 We are forbidden to pressure someone into selling that which he does not want to sell. A person who covets any possession belonging to his friend and pressures him into selling the article violates this prohibition. (In connection with "your fellow man's wife" this would be the case if one persuaded somebody to divorce his wife or otherwise induced him to do so, so that one could marry the wife afterward--Rabbi S. R. Hirsch). It makes no difference whether he applies the pressure himself or asks his friends to do so for him. Moreover, the very desiring of someone else's possession is a violation of a different prohibition: "You shall not desire the house of your fellow man, nor his ox and his donkey, nor anything which belongs to your fellow man" (Dvorim 5:18). (Rambam, Hilchos Gzaila v'avaida 1:9, 10) Desire leads to coveting (that is, pressuring someone to sell) and coveting leads to stealing. For if a person strongly wants someone's possession and is unable to acquire it through payment, he may eventually steal it, and if the owner tries to protect his possession from being stolen, the coveter is apt to kill him, as was the case with Achav and Navos (I Melachim, ch. 21). (Mechilta; Rambam, ibid.). Some people might wonder how a person who desires something belonging to another person can overcome that desire. Ibn Ezra explained that it is all a matter of attaining the proper perspective. If a man sees that another person has a luxurious home, he should realize that it is God's will that this should belong to that person and not to him. His fellowman's possessions should be in his eyes as completely out of reach. A poor peasant will not desire to marry the king's daughter, writes Ibn Ezra, because he knows that she can never become his. This should be our attitude toward the possessions of others. We should be satisfied with what God has given us, and realize that what He has given to someone else is entirely unobtainable for us. Rabainu Yonah writes that if you desire to buy an article belonging to someone who does not want to sell it, but by pleading with him he will be too embarrassed to refuse, you are forbidden to plead with him. Your pleading with him would be tantamount to forcing him to sell the item. Similarly, if a respected person desires something and knows that because people respect him he will not be refused, he may not ask the owner of an article to sell or give it to him unless he knows that the person will do it willingly. (Shaarey Tshuvah 3:43).

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EXOD484 There are four attitudes [of relationship] among men: he who says… "Yours is mine, and mine is mine"--he is wicked. Pirkei Avot, Perek V, mishnah 13. This is the wolf-like person who at cards, in conversation, or in business, is "out for blood." Everything he does, he perceives as an important move in a fateful contest, in which he is determined to win, to gain an advantage, to see what he can take from you. This man is a rasha, genuinely wicked; he violates the spirit and the letter of the Torah. The last of the Ten Commandments reads: [this verse] On this the sagacious R. Abraham ibn Ezra comments: "Many will wonder about this commandment: How can a man not long in his heart for something attractive that seems so desirable to him?" The other nine Commandments involve action of some sort. But coveting, wanting, is a desire, an emotion. How can the Torah enjoin me to control my emotions? How can I suppress my natural desires? Ibn Ezra continues: "In answer I will give you a parable: A peasant of sound mind who sees a beautiful princess will not yearn in his heart to be intimate with her. For he knows that such a thing can never be; and we cannot rank this peasant among the insane, that he might suddenly long for wings to fly skyward. So too will a man generally not desire a close relative for a mate, though she be beautiful; for since childhood he has been reared to reckon her forbidden to him. Even so should every man of intelligence know that neither wisdom nor knowledge will bring a person a beautiful woman or wealth; they will become his only if the Blessed One has so ordained… Hence the intelligent person will not wish or court another's wife: knowing that the Blessed One has forbidden her to him, he will consider her more inaccessible than is a princess to a peasant." Is Ibn Ezra not utterly right? Sometimes a boy falls madly in love with a girl and will threaten to commit suicide unless he can marry her. But the boy knows he can marry the girl, if she will but consent. For the peasant there was never a possibility to wed someone so far above his station as a princess; no serious desire would develop. Then consider the next man's property and possessions so distant from your furthermost reach that it will never enter your mind to want them. So can you control your desires. Therefore is the predatory "wolf" so thoroughly wicked. He accepts no such concepts and no such curbs. His desires and wants are his keen, fresh guides for living. Everything and everyone about him is fair game. He has never heard the adage of the Sages mocking him: "If you have taken what is not yours, what is yours will be taken from you." (Talmud, Tractate Derech Eretz i) There is a wise saying that people can be divided into two groups: the givers and takers.… The giver will always give; he feels that the world owes him nothing. The taker will always take; if you do him a thousand favors, he will accept them as a matter of course. As he sees it, you, your time, your friends, your range of influence, exist only to serve him. Yet he will never think of doing anything for you; he owes you nothing. "Yours is mine, but mine is mine too." A taker is not a giver. If we have a choice, let us join the givers and not the takers; with an affable, cheerful attitude let us learn to say with the hassid, "Mine is yours, and yours is yours." The world will become a little better for it.

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EXOD483 The negative commands of the Torah dealing with human relations attempt to restrain a person from harming or causing any loss to another individual. This includes his life, limbs, possessions, and even his reputation and ego. (A. Kariv, Shivas Amudei Ha-Tanakh, p. 231). The range of these rules as indicated on the second table of the Decalogue, which begins with "Thou shall not murder" and ends with "Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's house… nor anything that is thy neighbor's" [this and previous verse; see also Deuteronomy 5:18). But coveting is hardly a crime punishable by a court of law and can hardly be considered something which in itself causes harm to one's neighbor. And indeed, in terms of the Halakhah one violates this commandment only when some particular action follows upon the "coveting." Yet Judaism, wished to penetrate to the root of the evil and in the process revealed the profound depth of its moral sensitivity. The Pentateuch, in declaring, "Thou shall not covet" and "Thou shalt not desire," teaches us that to cast an envious eye on the possessions of our neighbor is already to cross the line between mine and thine (See Sefer ha-Chinnukh, Mitzvah 38 ... the Chinnuch, in mitzvah 416, following the Rambam (Hilkhot Gezelah ve-Aveidah 1:10-12), considers lo titaveh, "Thou shalt not desire" in Deuteronomy 5:18 as prohibiting the desire alone even if it is not followed by any action designed to acquire the object). But even if it does not bother my neighbor, Judaism would have us rid ourselves of such feelings because there very presence within a human being is destructive of human personality and pollutes the self. "Rabbi Eleazar ha-Kappar said, 'Envy, desire, and ambition drive a man out of the world,' (Avot 4:28) and the rabbis noted that there is a sense in which "thinking about transgressions is worse than the transgression itself" (Yoma 29a, see Rashi).

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EXOD477 Coveting, an offshoot or outgrowth of envy, is the only emotion (as opposed to action) outlawed in the Ten Commandments. … While envy refers, among other things to wanting what others have for ourselves, coveting--in the context of the Ten Commandments and the usage of this term in Jewish life--refers to desiring what others have so much that we start scheming to acquire it.

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EXOD475 And in the second Decalogue it is written (Deuteronomy 5:18):" And you shall not covet… and you shall not lust," to establish liability for the coveting in itself and for the lusting in itself (Mechilta)

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EXOD479 I might think even by word [without act]; it is, therefore, written (7:25): "You shall not covet the silver and gold upon them and take them." Just as there, transgression is conditional upon act, here, too (Mechilta).

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EXOD485 To people, "You shall not covet" implies [coveting something] without paying for it. (Bava Metzia 5b)

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EXOD487 Envy is a branch of anger, and no one escapes it. For we all see all men being pulled one after the other. When one man sees his neighbor acquiring one of the worldly acquisitions, whether it be a type of food or clothing, or building a house, or accumulating money, he exerts himself to do likewise, thinking: My friend has this; I will have it, too. This was intimated by King Shelomo (Koheles 4:4): "And I saw that all labor and all excellent workmanship was one man's envy of another." One who is overpowered by this trait is extremely despicable. For envy brings one to lust, for when a man does not take to heart what others have, he does not lust; but when his heart is drawn on and he envies what others have, he covets and desires, and the Torah has said [this verse]: "Do not covet your neighbor's wife... and all that belongs to your neighbor." And when he covets, he steals, as it is written (Michah 2:2): "And they coveted fields and they stole them." And one in whom lust mounts is close to transgressing the Ten Commandments. By way of illustration: there was once a man who had a wicked neighbor whose property was separated from his own by a wall. This wicked man lusted after his neighbor's wife and some of his possessions. One Friday, he heard his neighbor telling his wife: "I want to go away for the day on business," and he did so. What did this wicked man do? On Sabbath eve, he went and broke down the wall between them, thus transgressing "Remember and observe" [the Shabbos]. He then forced the woman whom he lusted to possess, transgressing "Do not covet," and lay with her, transgressing "Do not commit adultery." Afterwards, when he began to steal the money, the woman cried out and he rose up against her and killed her, thus transgressing "Do not kill," and when he robbed and stole what he lusted after, he transgressed "Do not steal" and "Do not covet." The next day his father and mother rose up and reproved him, and he rose up against them and struck them, thus transgressing "Honor your father and your mother." Afterwards he was brought before the court and testified falsely with his friends that these things that he took were pledges which had been given him by his neighbor and which he had, in turn, entrusted to him and had not been able to reclaim until now that the robbers had broken the wall and killed his wife, hearing of which, he, too, had gone in and taken his pledge--thus transgressing "Do not testify falsely." And wherever he came he swore that he had committed no offense, thus transgressing "Do not swear falsely." In the end, his evil was revealed and his offense publicized. His shame was so great that he gave himself up to corruption and denied the Living God, thus transgressing "I am Hashem your God." Finally, he became addicted to idol worship and bowed down to and served idols, thus transgressing "Do not have any other gods besides me" and "Do not bow down to them and do not serve them." And all this was caused by lust. We see, then, that he who is lustful is close to transgressing the entire Torah.

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EXOD488 Rabbi Joshua said: An evil eye, the evil inclination, and hatred of people remove a man from the world. Pirkei Avot, Perek II, mishnah 16. Note that Rabbi Joshua uses the singular, "an evil eye." To view things with one eye only is already evil. We must remember to look with both eyes, to get a balanced view. In the Tenth Commandment we are told not to covet a neighbor's house, wife, servants, ox… "and everything that belongs to him." (this verse and Deuteronomy 5:18). Does this sweeping "everything" come to add? It means to tell us that whenever you are stricken with envy or jealousy, look with both eyes and see "everything." Get the full picture. See the other side of the coin, the reality behind the surface. Do you envy your neighbor his wonderful house? You would like to own one just like it? But do you know how much his upkeep costs him? Do you know that if a pipe burst in the middle of the night and he cannot get a plumber, he is in deep trouble! It may cost him many days and many dollars before everything is repaired. Look with both eyes. Perhaps you yearn for his sleek, handsome limousine. You would not be so envious if you knew how much gasoline it consumes and what a headache it can cause in a congested, traffic-jammed city. Again, pangs of jealousy may assail you when you find that he is married to a most beautiful woman. But perhaps, if you knew her, you would realize how vain and empty-headed she is, and how irritating and difficult to live with. Would you then still envy your neighbor? Look with both eyes. Look at "everything that belongs to him," the liabilities as well as the assets. If you look with only one eye, you develop the "evil eye" of irrational, unwarranted envy.

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EXOD492 What are the signs of love of God to be found in one who loves [Him]? ... A further [sign] is that traces of his fear of God and profound dread of Him are apparent on his facial expression, as it is written: “So that His fear be on your faces, and you not sin” (Shemos 20:17). Fear [of God] is of two kinds. One of these is fear of His punishments and trials. One fears God, in this case, because He can cause him pain and suffering. If, however, he were immune to suffering, he would not fear God. Of such individuals our Masters, of blessed memory, said: “We should be wary, lest we come to observe [the commandments] out of fear” (Megillah 25b). Such an individual falls short of the degree attained by the [truly] God- fearing and is the embodiment of what our Masters, of blessed memory, warned against: “Be not like servants who serve the master on condition of receiving a reward” (Avos 1:3). One of the pious said, “I would be ashamed before God to serve Him because of reward and punishment. I would then be like a bad servant who, if he fears punishment or expects reward, will perform, but who otherwise will not perform. I will, rather, serve Him because He is worthy of this.” The second [kind of fear of God] is awe, inspired by His magnitude, exaltedness, and awesome power. [This awe] never leaves a person or parts from him all the days of his life. This is the highest of the degrees of the God-fearing to whom the Scriptures attribute yirah (awe). It is the gateway to pure love and intense yearning. One who reaches this degree of fear of God will not fear or be afraid of anything but the Creator, as one of the pious told of a God-fearing man whom he found asleep in a desert. He asked the man, “Are you not afraid of lions? How can you sleep in such a place!” The man replied, “I would be ashamed before God if He were to see that I was afraid of anything besides Him.”

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