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LEVITICUS — 19:18 grudge

LEV624 (Obstacles to Forgiving). You, as the victim, have to give up your claims to justice, that you have been wronged and that the offender owes you something. Some of the reticence to do this stems from the human penchant to want to get even and carry a grudge--characteristics that the Torah specifically requires us to suppress in commanding us (this verse). Even if you can overcome your desire to get back at the offender in the mode of "an eye for an eye," you still may feel reluctant to forgive you because you rightfully feel that he or she owes you something.

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LEVITICUS — 19:18 grudge

LEV627 All of the commandments are either positive or negative. There is no need to explain this in regard to commandments that involve the limbs, for the are known by all. I will mention, however, a few of the positive and negative commandments which occur to me from among the duties of the heart; these will then serve as examples of all the rest. Examples of positive commandments from among the duties of the heart are: to believe that the world has a Creator, who brought it into existence from nonexistence, and that there is none like Him; to acknowledge His unity; to serve Him in one's heart; to contemplate the wonders of His creations and gain evidence of His existence; to put one's trust in Him; to be humble before Him; to be in awe of Him and afraid and ashamed because both our public and private selves are known to Him; to long to do His Will, and let all that one does be for His sake; to love Him and those devoted to Him, so as to become close to Him, and hate those who are His enemies; and any other similar duty which is not carried out externally, through the limbs. Examples of negative commandments from among the duties of the heart are the opposites of the above; also: not to be envious of, revengeful, or grudging with our people, as it is written: “Do not take revenge or bear a grudge against the children of your people” (Leviticus 19:18). Not to dwell on sin, desire it, or decide to do it; and similar matters of conscience which only the Creator knows of, as it is written: “I, God, search the heart and test the mind” (Yirmeyahu 17:10; “The soul of man is the lamp of God, searching all his inmost parts” (Mishlei 20:27).

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LEVITICUS — 19:18 love

LEV654 Commitment to family and friends. If one who trusts in God has a wife and relatives, friends and enemies, he should rely on God to save him from [being overburdened by] them, and endeavor to meet his duties toward them, to fulfill their wishes, and to be wholehearted with them. He should avoid causing them any harm, and promote their interests. He should be their steadfast supporter in all their concerns, and advise them of what is advantageous to them in religious and secular matters. [He should do all this] to serve God, as it is written: “Love your neighbor like yourself” Vayikra 19:18); “Do not hate your brother in your heart” (ibid. 19:17). Not because he hopes to be repaid by them, not to make them indebted to him, not because he loves to be honored and praised by them, not to have authority over them, but to fulfill the commandment of the Creator, and to keep His covenant and keep His ordinances in their regard. For if his motive in fulfilling their wishes is one of those [ulterior motives] mentioned above, he will not obtain what he wants from them in this world, he will labor in vain, and will lose his reward in the World-to-Come. If, however, he acts solely out of service to God, God will help them [the beneficiaries] to repay him in this world, will put his praises into their mouths, and will increase his stature in their eyes; And he will attain great reward in the World-to-Come. As God said to Shelomo: “I give you also what you did not ask for--both riches and honor” (Melachim I, 3:13).

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LEVITICUS — 19:18 love

LEV662 In how many ways should a person hold himself to an accounting before God? I say that there are a multitude of ways in which to make such an accounting. Of these, I will point out thirty. They can clarify to a person what he owes God, if he will bring them to mind and undertake to reflect on them and remember them always. Contemplating the responsibilities and benefits of friendship and community. … 22. One should make an accounting with himself of his involvement with other people in what pertains to the general welfare—e.g., plowing and reaping, buying and selling, and other ways in which people are mutually helpful in creating a healthy society--[and consider] that he should desire for them what he would desire for himself in these matters, loathe for them [to suffer] what he would loathe for himself, empathize with them, and do all that he can do to shield them from what might harm them, as it is written: “Love your neighbor like yourself” (Vayikra 19:18). An analogy to this is the following. Think of a group of people who set out for a distant land on a difficult road. They will have to camp at many stations [along the way], and they have with them many beasts loaded with heavy burdens. The people are few in number; and each has in his charge many beasts which he must load and unload frequently. If they help each other in the loading and unloading, and the desire of each of them is to further their welfare and ease the burden of all of them, and they share equally in rendering help and assistance, then they will be in excellent shape. But if they are divisive and do not cooperate, and each one tries to further his own selfish interests, most of them will grow weary [and falter]. For this reason, my brother, the world becomes wearisome to its inhabitants, and their toil and trouble are increased--because everyone concerns himself only with his own lot and [seeks] more than his allotted portion. And because they demand of the world more than is their due and seek in it what is not theirs, the world denies them their due and does not provide them with their share. As a result, they are not satisfied with the world, and there is not one among them who does not complain and whine about it. Because they seek luxuries, the world denies them basic necessities, and grants these only after much trouble and exertion. If they would be content with what suffices for their basic needs, if they would all strive for the common good and share the same conditions, they would overcome [all obstacles] in this world and attain even more than they desire. Yet, not only do they not help each other in their worldly interests but they hinder one another. Each one obstructs his friend and cripples his effort, so that not one of them attains what he seeks or fulfills his desire. Therefore, my brother, you should endeavor to acquire faithful colleagues and true friends who will help you in your religious and secular pursuits, as you are wholehearted and true toward them. They should be as dear to you as your own soul, when you find among them those who are worthy of this sentiment. Do not, however, confide your secrets to anyone but the choicest of your choice friends, as Ben Sira said: “Many will wish you well, but confide your secret to only one in a thousand.” (Ben Sira 6:6), and as the Wise One said: “Oil and incense gladden the heart, so confiding in one's friend for earnest counsel” (Mishlei 27:9).

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