DEUT1213 R. Yochanan said: Great is the "draught," [withholding of] which estranges kin, as it is written: [Amon and Moav are forbidden to Israel (their kin by way of Lot)] "because they did not greet you with bread and with water" (Sanhedrin 103b)

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DEUT1215 On [this] verse: Because they (Ammon and Moab) met you not with bread and water…," Vayikra Rabba (34) comments: "Did Israel need their favors? Did not manna come down, water gush fourth, the quail fly, the cloud of glory surround them and the pillar of cloud travel ahead of them during all the forty years?--But this is common courtesy: When a wayfarer passes by, he should be greeted with food and drink. How did God repay them their deserts? He forbade an Ammonite or a Moabite to enter God's community" (i.e. no male descended paternally from an Ammonite or Moabite proselyte may marry a woman of legitimate Jewish dissent -- Tr.). Here we may infer from the lighter to the graver case (Kal vachomer) that if one who refused to be kind to a person who did not need his favor was repaid with such severity, how much more so will a person be punished if he failed to extend kindness to a person who did need his favor! (Continued at [[EXOD162]] Exodus 12:38 mixed AHAVCH 106).

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DEUT1216 See [[DEUT643]] Deuteronomy 13:16 sword AMEMEI 222-3

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DEUT1218 We must not fail to show kindness to others. Rabbi. Shimon said in the name of Rabbi Eliezer that from here we see the punishment of those who withhold kindness. During the forty years that the Israelites spent in the desert they had manna from heaven, quails, and water from the well that went with them. In addition protective clouds encircled them and journeyed before them to show them the way. In short, they lacked nothing. Nevertheless, courtesy requires that if people come from the journey, they should be welcomed with food and drink. For failure to afford the Israelites this basic courtesy, the Ammonites and Moabites were banned from entering the assembly of the Lord. This involves the exclusion of the males of these two nations from marrying a Jewess even if they converted to Judaism (Yevomos 76b). From here we see the retribution of those who failed to show kindness to those who did not need it. How much greater will the punishment be for those who do not show kindness to someone who does require it. (Vayikra Rabbah 34:8)

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DEUT1217 The Torah expresses great condemnation of the citizens of Moab and Ammon, "because they did not meet you [the Israelites] with food and water on your journey after you left Egypt…" [this verse]. In the talmudic discussion of this verse, Rabbi Yochanan comments on the capacity of inhospitality to "repulse those who would otherwise be near, while [timely hospitality] draws near those who would otherwise be distant" (Sanhedrin 103b).

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DEUT1214 Offering Accommodations to a Stranger. Derech eretz dictates that upon seeing a stranger enter a city, one should ask him whether he has a place of lodging. As the Talmud (Bava Kama 92a) states, "A stranger who comes to town seeking lodging should be questioned concerning lodging, while one who comes to town accompanied by a woman should not be questioned regarding whether she is his wife or his sister. Avimelech the king of the Philistines failed in this; he did make inquiries regarding Sarah's matrimonial status and eventually brought her to his palace. He was then told by Hashem to return Sarah to her husband--otherwise Avimelech would have died, for he should have learned how to receive a stranger coming to his town, and he did not learn." Rashi explains that the words "he should have learned" refer to derech eretz. This teaches us that offering a stranger lodging is an obligation stemming from the principles of derech eretz, and not just a praiseworthy fulfillment of hachnassas orchim. The male descendants of the nation of a Amon and Moav are not permitted to marry a Jewess as a consequence of their failing to come forth and offer bread and water to the Jewish people when they approach their land [this verse].

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DEUT1219 "And the Lord your God did not desire to heed Bilaam, and the Lord your God turned the curse into a blessing for you": This teaches us that the curser is cursed. Why? "For the Lord your God loves you" (Sifrei)

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DEUT1220 See [[DEUT135]] Deuteronomy 4:37 loved OXFORD 40

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DEUT1221 In a war against a Amon and Moav, do not make overtures of peace. As explained [Deuteronomy 23:4 congregation CHINUCH 359-60], since the men of Amon and Moav are incurably cruel and inhumane, they do not deserve goodness and peace. To behave with cruelty towards them is praiseworthy, for such is measure for measure.

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DEUT1222 The ninth category [of flattery] consists of one who honors the wicked by way of courtesy. He does not speak well of the wicked man and he does not honor him in such a way as to lead others to believe that he respects him, or he will apportion him honor only in the manner that men honor the rich, by way of "preening" and expectation of gain because their ways have prospered and not because of their intrinsic worth. But herein, too, lies sin and wrongdoing, for though it is permitted to honor the rich, it is not so with the wicked. It is permitted to honor the wicked only on the grounds of fear, fear that they will cause injury or loss at a time when they have the upper hand. It was thus permitted to honor them as men honor the powerful, out of fear and fright by standing, deferring, and the like, but it was not permitted to praise them or speak well of them to others. And thus have our Rabbis of blessed memory said (Sotah 41b): "It is permitted to flatter the wicked in this world." And there are some wicked men whom it is not permitted to flatter, as we find in the case of Mordecai, who is told: "Flatter Haman," and who replied [this verse]: "Do not seek their peace or their good." And even when he was told: "Our Rabbis taught that it is permitted to flatter the wicked to keep the peace," he refused to accept it, as it is written (Esther 5:9): "And he did not stand or stir for him." A man should flatter his wife to preserve household harmony; his creditor, that he not press him; and his teacher, that he teach him Torah. And it is a great mitzvah to flatter one's students and friends so that they learn and listen to his words, to accept his rebuke toward the fulfillment of the mitzvos. Similarly, any man that one thinks he can draw to himself to listen to him to fulfill the mitzvos, who will not respond to severity, but who will accept his chastisement if flattered – – it is a great mitzvah to flatter such a man, to extract what is precious from what is base. There are some men who accept chastisement not through rebuke but through gentle speech, as it is written (Koheles 9:17): "The words of the wise, spoken gently, are heard." And there are some who must be rebuked, as it is written (Mishlei 17:10): "A rebuke enters more deeply into an understanding man." And there are some who require stripes, as it is written (ibid. 19:29): "And stripes to the back of fools." And there are some who even blows will not help, as it is written (ibid.17:10): "Than 100 blows to the fool." If so, what can be done with him? There is no remedy for him but banishment.

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