EXOD482 See [[EXOD441]] Exodus 20:13 adultery DORFF-RUTTENBERG 20-1

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EXOD474 "You must not covet your fellowman's house" [this verse]; "Neither must you desire your fellowman's house" (Devarim 5:18). We have herein been admonished not to perform deeds in wickedness [Tehillim 141:4] for acquiring a field, vineyard, or any of the possessions belonging to our fellowman, even when paying their value. We have further been admonished concerning thoughts associated with this wickedness--that our thoughts should not consent to such actions, as the pasuk says, "You must not covet." [For example,] if one craves for another to sell him his field, vineyard, or one of his belongings when the other is not interested in doing so, and yet, by persistently pleading with him he knows that the other will be too embarrassed to refuse him--it is forbidden to pressure him, for this would be akin to duress and coercion. [Another example:] if a highly respected individual were to desire the acquisition of any possession, knowing that by "merely" making the request his fellowman would not dare refuse him, [Iyov 29:24], he is forbidden from asking the other to sell or give it to him, unless he knows that he will give it to him wholeheartedly, without any misgivings.

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EXOD476 Can I advertise my product through mass mailing? Q: My firm provides a unique product that could be of interest to many individuals. Someone has offered to make a pitch through a "spam" mailing to millions of individuals. A: In principle, Jewish tradition does not frown on promotion. It is legitimate for a seller to try and make his product known to potential buyers, and to inform them of the benefits of his wares. For example, the Mishnah states that a store owner is allowed to give free gifts to buyers in order to induce them to come to his store. [Mishnah, end of fourth chapter of Bava Metziah]. And our ancient sages took special steps to encourage door-to-door salesman who sold important products, such as cosmetics, which were not available in stores Bava Batra 22a. However, we must take care that selling doesn't turn into harassment. We can learn this principle from two laws of commerce that relate to buyers, and apply them to sellers as well. The Mishnah states that a buyer shouldn't waste the time of a seller by feigning interest in a purchase [Mishnah, end of fourth chapter of Bava Metziah]. This is considered a violation of the Torah prohibition of causing gratuitous torment to others. The seller devotes his energy to the customer believing he is being given a fair chance to make a sale; if in fact the "customer" has no interest, then the seller is being imposed upon. The customer should take the time of the seller only if he has some minimal interest in buying. By the same token, a seller shouldn't waste the customer's time by an offering when there is no particular basis for thinking that the customer might be interested. There should be some rational basis for assuming that the email (or junk mail) recipients may have some interest in your product or service. Otherwise, you are imposing on the recipient. There is another, complementary law which provides a complementary insight. One of the Ten Commandments is "Don't covet" what belongs to our neighbor [this verse]. But we must admit that giving a hard and fast definition of "coveting" is not so easy. Our desire tells us that the redline is definitely crossed when our desire is so great that we try to convince the owner to sell us a personal possession that he really has no interest in parting with. [Mechilta on this verse]. Such uninvited approaches are again really just a form of harassment. This law, too, can be extrapolated from buyer to seller. Someone who tries to convince someone to buy a product that he has shown no interest in acquiring is engaging in exactly the same kind of harassment [Rabbi Yaakov Bloi, Pitchei Hoshen Geneiva 30 note 26]. This is completely different from a salesperson trying to persuade a customer who has intentionally come into the store or has agreed to listen to a sales person's pitch. It's hard to provide a clear definition of when targeted marketing turns into spam. But the two sources from Jewish law can help provide some context. In both cases, the criteria on what makes the approach permissible is not a desire to make a deal per se but rather the existence of a basic interest. A customer who has some interest in making a purchase is not wasting the salesperson's time, and a person who has expressed even a possible interest in selling his property may be approached by someone with an interesting offer. By the same token, a recipient considers an email to be "spam" not because he doesn't want to buy the product but rather because he is not interested in even learning about the product. It's not only a waste of this time to read the message; it's even a waste of time to go to the trouble of deleting it. Based on this criterion, a mass mailing would be problematic if it is for something that relatively few people are interested in learning about and no efforts are made to target specifically those individuals who would express interest. It goes without saying that the mailings should not violate the law. Very often middlemen of the kind you mention use illegal techniques to evade anti-spam efforts of Internet service providers. For example, if they use a false return address. When you use the services of such an agent, Jewish law views you as an accomplice to the crime. Targeted mailings, when carried out in a legal fashion, are a legitimate selling technique according to the principles of Judaism. But these mailings turn into unethical harassment when no effort is made to target individuals who would be expected to have some interest in learning about your produce, or if the message is misleading.

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EXOD486 We are forbidden to pressure someone into selling that which he does not want to sell. A person who covets any possession belonging to his friend and pressures him into selling the article violates this prohibition. (In connection with "your fellow man's wife" this would be the case if one persuaded somebody to divorce his wife or otherwise induced him to do so, so that one could marry the wife afterward--Rabbi S. R. Hirsch). It makes no difference whether he applies the pressure himself or asks his friends to do so for him. Moreover, the very desiring of someone else's possession is a violation of a different prohibition: "You shall not desire the house of your fellow man, nor his ox and his donkey, nor anything which belongs to your fellow man" (Dvorim 5:18). (Rambam, Hilchos Gzaila v'avaida 1:9, 10) Desire leads to coveting (that is, pressuring someone to sell) and coveting leads to stealing. For if a person strongly wants someone's possession and is unable to acquire it through payment, he may eventually steal it, and if the owner tries to protect his possession from being stolen, the coveter is apt to kill him, as was the case with Achav and Navos (I Melachim, ch. 21). (Mechilta; Rambam, ibid.). Some people might wonder how a person who desires something belonging to another person can overcome that desire. Ibn Ezra explained that it is all a matter of attaining the proper perspective. If a man sees that another person has a luxurious home, he should realize that it is God's will that this should belong to that person and not to him. His fellowman's possessions should be in his eyes as completely out of reach. A poor peasant will not desire to marry the king's daughter, writes Ibn Ezra, because he knows that she can never become his. This should be our attitude toward the possessions of others. We should be satisfied with what God has given us, and realize that what He has given to someone else is entirely unobtainable for us. Rabainu Yonah writes that if you desire to buy an article belonging to someone who does not want to sell it, but by pleading with him he will be too embarrassed to refuse, you are forbidden to plead with him. Your pleading with him would be tantamount to forcing him to sell the item. Similarly, if a respected person desires something and knows that because people respect him he will not be refused, he may not ask the owner of an article to sell or give it to him unless he knows that the person will do it willingly. (Shaarey Tshuvah 3:43).

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EXOD484 There are four attitudes [of relationship] among men: he who says… "Yours is mine, and mine is mine"--he is wicked. Pirkei Avot, Perek V, mishnah 13. This is the wolf-like person who at cards, in conversation, or in business, is "out for blood." Everything he does, he perceives as an important move in a fateful contest, in which he is determined to win, to gain an advantage, to see what he can take from you. This man is a rasha, genuinely wicked; he violates the spirit and the letter of the Torah. The last of the Ten Commandments reads: [this verse] On this the sagacious R. Abraham ibn Ezra comments: "Many will wonder about this commandment: How can a man not long in his heart for something attractive that seems so desirable to him?" The other nine Commandments involve action of some sort. But coveting, wanting, is a desire, an emotion. How can the Torah enjoin me to control my emotions? How can I suppress my natural desires? Ibn Ezra continues: "In answer I will give you a parable: A peasant of sound mind who sees a beautiful princess will not yearn in his heart to be intimate with her. For he knows that such a thing can never be; and we cannot rank this peasant among the insane, that he might suddenly long for wings to fly skyward. So too will a man generally not desire a close relative for a mate, though she be beautiful; for since childhood he has been reared to reckon her forbidden to him. Even so should every man of intelligence know that neither wisdom nor knowledge will bring a person a beautiful woman or wealth; they will become his only if the Blessed One has so ordained… Hence the intelligent person will not wish or court another's wife: knowing that the Blessed One has forbidden her to him, he will consider her more inaccessible than is a princess to a peasant." Is Ibn Ezra not utterly right? Sometimes a boy falls madly in love with a girl and will threaten to commit suicide unless he can marry her. But the boy knows he can marry the girl, if she will but consent. For the peasant there was never a possibility to wed someone so far above his station as a princess; no serious desire would develop. Then consider the next man's property and possessions so distant from your furthermost reach that it will never enter your mind to want them. So can you control your desires. Therefore is the predatory "wolf" so thoroughly wicked. He accepts no such concepts and no such curbs. His desires and wants are his keen, fresh guides for living. Everything and everyone about him is fair game. He has never heard the adage of the Sages mocking him: "If you have taken what is not yours, what is yours will be taken from you." (Talmud, Tractate Derech Eretz i) There is a wise saying that people can be divided into two groups: the givers and takers.… The giver will always give; he feels that the world owes him nothing. The taker will always take; if you do him a thousand favors, he will accept them as a matter of course. As he sees it, you, your time, your friends, your range of influence, exist only to serve him. Yet he will never think of doing anything for you; he owes you nothing. "Yours is mine, but mine is mine too." A taker is not a giver. If we have a choice, let us join the givers and not the takers; with an affable, cheerful attitude let us learn to say with the hassid, "Mine is yours, and yours is yours." The world will become a little better for it.

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EXOD483 The negative commands of the Torah dealing with human relations attempt to restrain a person from harming or causing any loss to another individual. This includes his life, limbs, possessions, and even his reputation and ego. (A. Kariv, Shivas Amudei Ha-Tanakh, p. 231). The range of these rules as indicated on the second table of the Decalogue, which begins with "Thou shall not murder" and ends with "Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's house… nor anything that is thy neighbor's" [this and previous verse; see also Deuteronomy 5:18). But coveting is hardly a crime punishable by a court of law and can hardly be considered something which in itself causes harm to one's neighbor. And indeed, in terms of the Halakhah one violates this commandment only when some particular action follows upon the "coveting." Yet Judaism, wished to penetrate to the root of the evil and in the process revealed the profound depth of its moral sensitivity. The Pentateuch, in declaring, "Thou shall not covet" and "Thou shalt not desire," teaches us that to cast an envious eye on the possessions of our neighbor is already to cross the line between mine and thine (See Sefer ha-Chinnukh, Mitzvah 38 ... the Chinnuch, in mitzvah 416, following the Rambam (Hilkhot Gezelah ve-Aveidah 1:10-12), considers lo titaveh, "Thou shalt not desire" in Deuteronomy 5:18 as prohibiting the desire alone even if it is not followed by any action designed to acquire the object). But even if it does not bother my neighbor, Judaism would have us rid ourselves of such feelings because there very presence within a human being is destructive of human personality and pollutes the self. "Rabbi Eleazar ha-Kappar said, 'Envy, desire, and ambition drive a man out of the world,' (Avot 4:28) and the rabbis noted that there is a sense in which "thinking about transgressions is worse than the transgression itself" (Yoma 29a, see Rashi).

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EXOD477 Coveting, an offshoot or outgrowth of envy, is the only emotion (as opposed to action) outlawed in the Ten Commandments. … While envy refers, among other things to wanting what others have for ourselves, coveting--in the context of the Ten Commandments and the usage of this term in Jewish life--refers to desiring what others have so much that we start scheming to acquire it.

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EXOD475 And in the second Decalogue it is written (Deuteronomy 5:18):" And you shall not covet… and you shall not lust," to establish liability for the coveting in itself and for the lusting in itself (Mechilta)

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EXOD479 I might think even by word [without act]; it is, therefore, written (7:25): "You shall not covet the silver and gold upon them and take them." Just as there, transgression is conditional upon act, here, too (Mechilta).

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EXOD485 To people, "You shall not covet" implies [coveting something] without paying for it. (Bava Metzia 5b)

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