GEN925 Do not indulge in too much conversation with your wife. Pirkei Avot I:5  What connection does this have with the previous teaching regarding hospitality? The average woman does not take very kindly to the prospect of unexpected guests.   Even Sarah, always hospitable enough, was no exception. When Abraham invited in his three wayfarers, he requested Sarah to take kemah soleth and bake cakes for her guests. [this verse].   Kemah is ordinary coarse flower; soleth is fine cake flour.   Only when he saw that Sarah had no objection, he improved the menu. Then again, a man might hesitate to invite guests, for then he could not spend the evening in conversation with his wife, discussing the day’s happenings and the local gossip.  And so Rabbi Yose implies: You will have many opportunities to indulge in such chatter. Forgo the talk with your wife now, and open your home wide to the poor.”   Or perhaps we have here some excellent practical advice; If, when you bring home some deserving guests, your wife becomes excited, “do not indulge in too much conversation.” Leave her alone. Women are like that. In a little while she will realize the wonderful mitzvah involved, and she will be only too happy. At the moment do not press the issue. Your wife’s natural good heart will soon reassert itself. Sir Walter Scott called woman “the toy of the evening.” Rudyard Kipling surpassed that with the adage, “A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.” [The Betrothed, 1886] this type of evaluation is reflected in the endearing term we moderns use for woman: “a doll.” But what is a doll? A toy, a plaything with no heart and no brains! A woman is a “doll” and a man is a “guy,” and they both proceed to play out their respective roles in character.   Between the two, there is no sense of divinity.   Judaism, however, regards the woman with esteem. “A man’s home,” says the Talmud, “is his wife.” Zohar III, 178b. Mishnah, Yoma I, 1 (Talmud, Shabbat 118b, Gittin 52a) Woman is highly regarded and appreciated in Jewish tradition. “If your wife is shorter than you, bow down to her.” Talmud, Baba Metzi’a 59a.  Consult your wife and listen to her advice. Marriage is called kiddushin: this means “sanctification,” and involves the highest degrees of holiness.   When the traditional practice of separate seating or men and women at prayer is attacked as reflecting the inferior place of women in orthodoxy, we must label this a patent misconception.   Separation, m’hitzah, is necessary not for the woman but for the man. His eyes, his thoughts and his temptation travel too far and too fast. When he prays, his sight, mind, and inclinations tend to wander.   He is too easily distracted from his devotions.  Hence we curtain off the woman because we do not trust the man!   The word sihah means “idle talk.”   The Mishnah is, in effect, advising a man not to restrict his wife’s companionship to the level of idle chatter.   Elevate your level of communication with your wife. Instead of “where the Goldsteins are spending their vacation,” discuss which Yeshivah to choose for your child.  Instead of the “new fur coat now displayed by Mrs. Cohen,” discuss your future regarding the Land of Israel.  Elevate your conversation; keep the sihah to a minimum and create a true communion of thought with the woman who is your helpmate in life.   SINAI1 60-1