GEN1436 There is no Jewish concept of retiring from Judaism. … The classic story about a Jew who wished to “retire” was Jacob in the Bible.   After experiencing all the turmoil of fighting with his brother, running away, working for twenty years, and having a family, the Torah says that Jacob dwelled in the land of his fathers [this verse].   Rashi comments [on Genesis 37:2] that Jacob wished to rest peacefully for the remainder of his life. God said that this is not the lot of the righteous [“When the righteous wish to live at ease, the Holy one, blessed be He), says to them: “Are not the righteous satisfied with what is stored up for them in the world to come that they wish to live at ease in this world too! Genesis Rabbah 84:3], and subsequently the entire episode of Joseph and the brothers transpired, causing great anguish for twenty-two years until the family was reunited after relocating to Egypt.   It seems that the Torah does not want Jacob or any other Jew to simply “retire,” whether it be from Judaism, from work, or from life itself.  AMEMEI 83

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GEN1435 See [[GEN1271]] Genesis 28:20 bread SINAI3 322-3

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GEN1439 Even if the speaker’s intentions are entirely good, he must take care [to tell the truth]. Chofetz Chaim, Hilchos Lashon Hara 10-2. … Any statements he makes must be strictly true, and contain no element of exaggeration.   Furthermore, if the subject is alleged to have violated the Torah, the speaker must be certain that his understanding of the relevant halachos is accurate and that he is applying them correctly to the case at hand.   Often, the right or wrong status of an action depends on many intricate details, and an individual who makes a quick judgment based on superficial or secondhand knowledge of the facts is likely to err. Therefore, it is important both to investigate all the circumstances thoroughly and to consult with a qualified rav regarding any halachic considerations. In Parshas Vayeishev Yosef misjudged his brothers’ actions and concluded incorrectly that they were guilty of certain sins. He was guilty of lashon hara for relating this information to this father Bereishis 37:2. EHRMAN 197-8

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GEN1440 Know that once the listener accepts lashon hara, the law for him and the portion [of punishment] meted out to him Esther 4:11, Jeremiah 13:25 is equal to that of the one who spoke the lashon hara, for people will say, “Those who heard his words accepted them. This proves that they are true and accurate.”   Even if the listener [merely] bends his ear and shows that he is attentive and accepting of these words in the presence of others, this also abets the evil, causes the disgrace of his fellowman, and strengthens the hands of the one who brings his negative reports (Lit. evil gossip) to others.  GATES 411 (Continued at [[NUM357]] Numbers 30:3 violate GATES 411)

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GEN1442 You are forbidden to relate loshon hora to someone about his parents, brothers, sisters, children, or any other relative.   Even if your sole intention is relating the derogatory information is that the listener reprimand his relative, it is forbidden.   If, however, you have already rebuked the person yourself and your efforts to correct him have failed, or if you are unable to rebuke him yourself, this restriction would not apply.   … Yosef related derogatory information about his brothers to their father Yaakov in order that Yaakov should admonish them [this verse]. Nevertheless, Yosef was punished.   Before he spoke to his father about his brothers, he should have admonished them himself.  GUARD 105

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GEN1438 A child is forbidden to tell his parents derogatory information about his brothers and sisters before he himself has admonished them.   The Chofetz Chayim notes that Yosef did not relate derogatory information about his brothers to anyone else besides their father.   Furthermore, his intentions were constructive and not malicious.  Nevertheless, Yosef’s report was improper, since he should have admonished his brothers and tried to correct their apparent misdeeds before speaking to his father about them.  Had he reproved his brothers, they would have been able to show him that he was mistaken (see Sifsai Chachomim).  Because he failed to go directly to them first, Yosef was punished (Rashi).   Shmiras Haloshon 2:11).   PLYN 109

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GEN1437 (Continued from [[LEV491]] Leviticus 19:16 idly-by SEFER 30-1). Furthermore, lashon hara was the main reason that Bnei Yisrael descended to Egypt, as the pasuk says [this verse].  Because of Yosef’s words, it was decreed in Heaven that he should be sold as a slave, which was a measure-for-measure punishment for his having said that his brothers called some of their brothers slaves, as the Midrash Genesis Rabbah 84:7 and the Yerushalmi [Jerusalem Talmud] in Peah 1:1.   Even though Yosef thought he had a reason that halachically justified relating this information, as the commentaries, explain, you see that no justification helped him, and he was punished nonetheless. Moreover, the primary cause of our current galus was the incident with the Spies, as the pasuk says וַיִּשָּׂ֣א יָדֹ֣ו לָהֶ֑ם לְהַפִּ֥יל וגו׳ וּ֝לְזָרֹותָ֗ם בָּאֲרָצֹֽות׃ And He lifted His hand against them to make them fall... and to scatter them among the lands (Tehillim 106:26-27). Rashi there explains [that this was a punishment for the sin of the Spies, which is mentioned in the previous pesukim], and the Ramban on who Chumash gives a similar explanation in his commentary on the episode of the Spies (Bamidbar 14:1). Chazal say in Arachin (15a) that the primary sin of the Spies was the derogatory report they gave about Eretz Yisrael. Because Bnei Israel cried then for nothing, it was decreed that they would subsequently cry for generations to come. [Consequently, our current galus is a result of the Spies’ sin of lashon hara.] We have suffered countless other calamities due to this terrible sin. The deaths of all of the talmidei chachamim who were killed by King Yanai during the time of Shimon ben Shetach—Yanai’s brother-in-law--were also due to rechilus, as the Gemara explains in Kiddishin (66 a). The murder of the Tanna Rabbi Elazar Hamoda’i, which caused the destruction of the city of Beitar, was also the result of rechilus, for people spoke rechilus about him before Ben Koziva, as the Midrash on Eichah explains (Eichah Rabbah 2:4). Due to the severe repercussions of this deplorable trait, the Torah specifically warns us against it with the explicit prohibition of לֹא־תֵלֵ֤ךְ רָכִיל֙ בְּעַמֶּ֔יךָ, Do not go as a talebearer among your nation (Vayikra 19:16), as we will explain later. (This is in contrast to anger, cruelty, scoffing, and all other bad traits, none of which the Torah forbad with an explicit prohibition among the 613 mitzvos--even though they, too, destroy the image and form of one's soul, and the Torah alludes to them in several places, as Chazal point out.) Furthermore, there is another obvious reason why the Torah specifically cautioned us against lashon hara. When we carefully consider these practices of lashon hara and rechilus, we will discover that they encompass almost all of the negative and positive commandments in the area of bein adam l’chaveiro, as well as many mitzvos in the area of bein adam l’Makom, as we will explain. Therefore, the Torah specifically cautioned us about lashon hara and rechilus, to prevent us from being ensnared in this dangerous trap.   SEFER 31-2

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GEN1441 We should be particularly careful not to speak ill of family member.   [This verse] is the first of several details the Torah provides about Joseph’s relationship with is brothers, who soon came to hate him.   The most obvious lesson is that parents should discourage their children from informing on each other. It is good for a child to report if he or she is being bullied or otherwise taken advantage of.   But the verse implies that Joseph was steadily bringing back negative reports about his brothers’ actions, something that should not be done unless the misbehavior is extreme.   … Because of thoughtless remarks, family members become categorized as “the selfish one,” “the fool,” the bad-tempered one,” or “the incompetent.”  … Lashon hara is often responsible for the common phenomenon of close relatives who are not on speaking terms.  In many instances, these family feuds start with hurtful comments one relative makes about another.  Almost invariably, the objects of the complaints eventually hear about the gossip, and from that point on the antagonism escalates.   TELVOL1:336

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GEN1443 R. Chama b. Guria sad in the name of Rav: “One should never show favoritism to one son above the other, for because of the additional expenditure of the weight of two coins of fine wool for the many-colored coat that Jacob made for Joseph, beyond what he spent for his other sons, his brothers envied him, and the end result was that our forefathers went down to Egypt” Shabbat 10b TEMIMAH-GEN 154

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GEN1444 Parents must be careful not to favor one child over the other.   The Talmud comments on [this verse] that parents must never favor one child over anther.   Because of the many-colored coat which Yaakov gave to Yosef and not to any of this other sons, Yosef’s brothers became jealous.   The eventual outcome as that our forefathers went down to Egypt and were enslaved. (Shabbat 10b, see Tosfos).   Parents must always be on the alert that their actions or words should not create jealousy.  The consequences of jealousy among brothers and sisters can be tragic, and we must be careful to avoid doing anything that will breed it.   Statements such as, “Why don’t you study with the diligence of your brother?” or “Why aren’t you as well-behaved as your sister?” are bound to cause ill feelings.  Some parents might think that their children love and respect one another to such an extent that they are incapable of feeling jealously towards each other.   However, just because a child does not overtly show envy, does not mean that envy is not present.   PLYN 110

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