EXOD1013 Once out of the womb, all of us quickly are taken up by life's incessant demands, as relationships evolve into complicated mixes of emotional power as well as purely positive feelings. Our first bonding experience usually takes place with those in charge of parenting us. But at times their expectations exceed our limits, causing us to disappoint or wrong them. As we get older, we find ourselves in similarly unhappy situations with others we deeply care for. To get back on good terms, the one who errs must express sorrow for what happened, and the other must find enough compassion to accept this apology. Then mercy takes over, for without it, no relationship long endures. Yet its giving cannot be forced. Asking someone to overlook a wrong is like seeking the soothing embrace of a guileless understanding, a freely given gift, an unexpected hug. Compassion for another stems from such a gentle stirring of the soul. As Rabbi Nahman of Bratislava taught: "Many merciful deeds themselves require mercy. They live in a cramped corner of our lives and no one takes pity on them" (Otzar Harayanot Vehapitgamim) [Treasury of concepts and proverbs]). Only when we find the inner power to lovingly take back the one who hurt us can we overcome estrangement. There is an ancient Jewish model for this: "When Moses asked to see God's face [this verse], Moses was really asking, 'show me the attribute You use that helps You rule the world.' God said,' I will cause all my goodness to pass before you.' When God passed before Moses, He said of Himself, 'Adonai, Adonai, El rahum ve-hanun ...., Adonai, Adonai is a God of mercy and graciousness' -- I do not owe any creature anything, but I give to them gratuitously" (Tanhuma Buber Ed. Vaet-hanan). The thireenth-century Roman sage Yehiel b. Yekutiel said: "God loved Israel, so God gave the people mercy as a gift" (Sefer Maalot Hamiddot).