GEN1548 When dealing with an enraged person, particularly someone angry with us, we should act as calmly as we can.  [Proverbs 15:1] teaches that calmness can be contagious: “A gentle response pacifies wrath.”   It is hard for someone to continue to shout if we respond gently and in an unruffled way.   If we respond to shouting and accusations with more shouting and accusations, the conflict is far more likely to escalate.   If someone has reason to be upset with us, we should acknowledge that fact, and ask for mercy.   Thus [this verse].  Rabbi Zelig Pliskin comments, “When you think that what you say will be irritating to the person you are talking to, you can defuse his potential anger by mentioning right at the start that you hope that what you say will not get [him] angry.”   Most people think of themselves as fair and generous.  If we acknowledge their right to be upset, but appeal to them to restrain their anger, they are more likely to be disarmed.   But, if we challenge or even deny the other party’s right to be upset, we will probably trigger another angry reaction.   TELVOL1:257