GEN1532 Even if you must act harshly toward someone, inwardly you must feel love.   … On the words “Yosef recognized his brother,” Rashi cites the Midrash which notes that when they were handed over to his authority, he recognized them as brothers and therefore had compassion for them, despite their lack of compassion when they sold him.   Rabbi Chayim Shmuelevitz comments that we see the greatness of Yosef from his behavior toward his brothers. He did not want to reveal his true identify to them until they realized and admitted their sin.   Or, as the Kli Yokor says, he wanted their difficult experience in Egypt to serve as an atonement for their having wronged him. But though he outwardly acted gruffly toward them, inwardly he felt compassion.   This is true greatness, for as it is written in Mesilas Yeshorim, “revenge is sweeter than honey.”   It is easier for a person to act kindly toward someone who has harmed him, than to outwardly act harshly, yet inwardly feel love.   PLYN 118-9