GEN1231 Challenges to the filial relationship were often precipitated by the marriage of the child, first by the choice of the mate and then by the variety of stresses that the filial and marital states impose upon each other.   The patriarchs provided clear models here.   Of Esau it was written [this verse]. But of Jacob it was told that “he obeyed his father and mother” and went to Paddam-aram to take a wife of his mother’s family Genesis 28:7.   The Midrash is more explicit: “The way of a fool is straight in his own eyes: But he that is wise hearkens to counsel” Proverbs 12:15. “The way of the fool” – this is Samson, who said, “Get her for me, for she is good in my eyes” Judges 14:3. “But he that is wise” – this is Jacob, as it is said, “He listed to his father and mother.”   Genesis Rabbah 67:12  It is to be noted, though, that in all the incidents cited above, the parental preference or antipathy is not arbitrary but is substantively grounded: a wife of Israelite or related stock is preferable to a Hittite or Philistine woman.   What is stressed, therefore, is not parental prerogative but parental wisdom—and, of course, the propriety of parental involvement.  BLIDSTEIN 83-4