GEN523 [Consolation after death of a child]. There are several Talmudic passages in which the Rabbis record statements of consolation upon the loss of a child offered by one rabbinic colleague to another.  Many of those who spoke only succeeded in increasing the pain of the mourner… My experience is that only one who has him-or herself suffered a similar loss can offer meaningful consolation through words to parents who have lost a child.  Only when expressions of consolation come from fellow sufferers will the mourner, I believe, be able to feel that the consoler understands what he or she is feeling and is not uttering platitudes that they would never say if it were their own child who had died.  TELVOL 2:128-9