LEV593 The final words of [this verse] can also be translated as "but do not bear sin because of him." The Rabbis understood the ambiguity in the Hebrew as meaning that, even when criticizing someone, you should not commit a sin by shaming him or her. As Rashi explains in his commentary on this verse: "Though rebuking him, you should not publicly embarrass him, in which case you will bear sin on account of him." To the question, "Should you rebuke one to the point that his face changes color?" the Talmud responds, "No" (Arachin 16b). Shaming someone is both ineffective and immoral. If you're rebuking a person for a serious offense, shaming him will only make him defensive, and thus render your words less effective. And if you're rebuking someone for a small offense (as a parent may do to a child who has broken a plate), then shaming him is a greater sin than the offense itself. The best way to avoid shaming a person is to deliver the criticism privately (See the opening paragraph of this chapter), "with soft language and gentle words" (See Sefer Ha-Chinnuch, commandment number 239). For more on not shaming or humiliating another, see chapters 29 and 31 [of this volume].

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LEV581 [This] commandment means that we should not remain silent when we observe someone behaving badly. [This often-overlooked commandment is so significant that the Talmud teaches, "Jerusalem was destroyed because its citizens didn't rebuke one another" (Shabbat 119b). Thus, no matter how elevated a society is--and Jerusalem has long been regarded as Judaism's premier city--if people don't effectively critique each other's ethical lapses, the society will deteriorate quickly.] Rather, we should speak to the person and point out what's wrong with his behavior (See the next chapter for ways to express criticism). The verse's second clause, "and not bear sin because of him," means that if we have the ability to influence someone who is acting improperly, and don't, then we share in responsibility for that person's misdeeds (See Nachmanides' commentary on this verse].

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LEV580 [If after confronting the person] "If the person admits his offense, and asks for forgiveness, you should be ready to forgive" (Maimonides, "The Laws of Character Development" 6:6).

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LEV585 Honoring While Giving Rebuke. The verse says, "Surely rebuke your fellow man and do not bear sin because of him" [this verse]. Sifra states: "Even if one gives rebuke four and five times to no avail, he is obligated to continue to rebuke the sinner. Should he give rebuke even if this will cause embarrassment to the sinner? The verse says, 'Do not bear sin because of him.'" This teaches that it is prohibited to rebuke the transgressor in public if this will cause embarrassment; however, one is obligated to continue giving rebuke in private (this law is discussed in detail in Sefer HaChinuch, mitzvah 500). Sefer Orach Meisharim (ch. 31) writes that the person giving rebuke should not speak harshly; instead, he should assure the sinner that it is in his own best interest to accept the rebuke. He should speak gently and argue in a logical and sincere manner, thus sparing the sinner embarrassment. Furthermore, the purpose of giving rebuke is that the sinner change his ways. Concerning this, the Sages say, "The words of a wise man are heard in gentleness" (Koheles 19:17)--over-aggressiveness on the part of the person giving rebuke will have the effect of further entrenching the sinner in his ways. (Continued at [[NUM251]] Numbers 20:10 rebels WAGS 75-6).

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LEV615 Thus, to achieve atonement, every Jew must focus on the needs of the sinning Jew, or the Jew who has no Torah learning and no observance. (Rema on Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 664:7; Shelah commentary on Sukkah, Perek Ner, Mitzvah 7). This sensitivity to sinners was also taught by Beruriah, the wife of Rabbi Meir. She castigated her husband for praying that sinners should die, convincing him that he was in error and that Judaism only advocates the disappearance of sin and/or the habitual sinners. Beruriah then urged her husband to pray that these men would repent (Berachot 10a). It is important to note that when rebuking the sinner for his or her evil ways, a Jew must possess sensitivity. There is a general commandment in the Torah to admonish Jewish sinners in order to induce them to repent [this verse]. Why is it that the commandment not to hate someone and the commitment to rebuke are placed in the very same verse? This teaches that even when one rebukes a person who is sinning, the rebuke may never be with even the smallest portion of hate.

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LEV609 See [[LEV485]] Leviticus 19:16 idly DORFFLOV 52-3

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LEV603 All Jews are responsible for each other (Babylonian Talmud, Shavu’ot 39a). Hillel says: “Do not separate yourself from the community” (Mishnah, Pirkei Avot 2:4). The thick sense of community that is articulated in these sources, where every Jew is responsible for one another and may not separate himself or herself from the community, where one is to see one's fellow Jew as a member of one's extended family, has many implications. As the last chapter indicates, it is this strong communal sense that is one of the rationales for providing for the Jewish poor. It is also a key element in the Talmud’s requirement to establish schools to educate everyone's children. “Rabbi Judah said in the name of Rav: “Rabbi Joshua ben Gamla should be remembered for good, for had it not been for him the Torah would have been forgotten in Israel. For at first, the boy who had a father was taught Torah by him, while the boy who had no father did not learn. Later, they appointed teachers of boys in Jerusalem, and the boys who had fathers were brought by them [to the teachers] and were taught; those who had no fathers were still not brought. Then they ordered that teachers should be appointed in every district, and they brought to them lads of the age of sixteen or seventeen. And when the teacher was cross with any of the lads, the lad would kick at him and run away. So then Rabbi Joshua ben Gamla ordered that teachers should be appointed in every district and in every city and that the boys should be sent to them at the age of six or seven years” (Babylonian Talmud, Bava Batra 21a ). As discussed in chapter 2, this thick sense of community is also the basis for making each of us responsible for rebuking others when they have done something wrong, thus doing one's part to ensure that the community is a just one. “Do not hate your brother in your heart. Reprove your kinsman so that you do not bear a sin with regard to him (Leviticus 19:17). “Whoever is able to protest against the wrongdoings of his family and fails to do so is punished for the family's wrongdoings. Whoever is able to protest against the wrongdoings of his fellow citizens and does not do so is punished for the wrongdoings of the people of his city. Whoever is able to protest against the wrongdoings of the world and does not do so is punished for the wrongdoings of the world (Babylonian Talmud, Shabbat 54b).

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LEV613 The respect demanded by the Jewish tradition for each and every human being does not mean that we must accept everything that anyone does. After all, the Torah is filled with laws that categorize certain forms of human behavior as prohibited and others as required, and if Jews fail to abide by those laws, the Torah demands, “Reprove your kinsman and no guilt because of him” (Leviticus 19:17). But that reproof must be given in private so as not to disgrace the person in public, and it must be done constructively and with respect for the ultimate human dignity inherent in each of us. The Torah applies this even to someone who is to be flogged for violating a negative commandment: “He may be given forty lashes, but not more, lest being flogged further, to excess, your brother be degraded before your eyes” (Deuteronomy 25:3). Certainly, then, in everyday speech we must respect the dignity of each person by avoiding defamatory speech, even if the negative information is true, and all the more if it is false. When, though, may one say something negative about someone else? Indeed, when should one do so? One may share negative information with someone else--and one should do so--when the hearer will be making practical decisions based on that information. If, for example, A has asked you to write a letter of recommendation for him or her to be sent to B, a potential employer, you have a duty to be honest about A’s qualifications for the job as you see them. … (Continued at [[DEUT623]] Deuteronomy 13:7 entices DORFFWITO 84-5)

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LEV607 See [[EXOD377]] Exodus 20:7 clear DUTIES 725-7

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LEV606 See [[DEUT1727]] Deuteronomy 33:21 executed DUTIES 871-3

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