EXOD411 "Fearing" God, Honoring Our Parents. We learn a good deal about this intermediate kind of yirah by looking at its human consequence: "I might not know what the implications of 'fear' are, but when the Torah tells us that we shall rise when the elderly enter and thus fear God, it indicates that we are also required to have deep respect for our teachers as well as our parents and God" (Tan. Beha'alotekha 11). More specifically, the Torah directs us to link yirah with kavod, honor. Leviticus thus commands: "You shall' fear' your mother and father" (19:3). Yehiel b. Yekutiel learns from this: "Just as we must fear and honor the Holy One, Blessed be He, so must we fear and honor our father and mother, as the Decalogue says: 'Honor your father and your mother' [this verse]. God connects anyone who honors and fears his father and mother with fear and honor of the Holy One, Blessed be He. ... Both men and women are obligated to carry out this mitzvah" (Sefer Maalot Hamiddot). This discussion is based on talmudic analysis: "Which aspect of one's service is termed 'fear,' and which 'honor'? Fear: One must not stand or sit in his father's place, or contradict his words, or uphold another in an argument against him. Honor: One must feed his father, give him drink, bathe him, anoint him, clothe him, shod him, and bring him in and take him out (Kid. 31a). Our parents did all this and more for us; shouldn't we at least do the same for them, should they require it? Yet there is more to this duty than simple repayment, for our parents evoke a certain awe in us, a reflection of our respect for them. "Issi b. Judah taught: If your father asks you for some water and you have other mitzvot to do, if they can be done by someone else, let them be done by others so you may occupy yourself with the mitzvah of honoring your parents" (Kid. 32a). When Rabbi Eliezer Hagadol was asked by his students how far they must extend themselves in honoring their parents, he replied: "You can learn a good lesson about this from the conduct of Dama b. Nethina. When his senile mother would strike him in the presence of his friends, he would only say, 'Enough, my mother'" (Deut. R. 1.14). Our special sensibility to parents often increases after they die. When mentioning a deceased parent, people quickly add: "of blessed memory for life in the world to come" (Kid. 31b).