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GENESIS — 22:2 love

GEN1128 A mishnah [Ethics of the Fathers 1:6] … uses a strange verb in referring to becoming friends.  In quoting the statement of Yehosuah Ben Prachya about how to properly behave in life, the mishnah says “acquire for yourself a friend.”   But the literal translation is “Buy yourself a friend.” How does one buy a friend? Is friendship, then, a function of wealth?   It is clear that the means of buying referred to in the mishnah is not money.   Rather, just as a money transaction is, in reality, an exchange of money for a good or service, so, too, a friendship is an exchange.   The material of exchange in a friendship is mutual experience and giving to the other person.   Thus, a friendship is “bought” through an exchange of give and take, a giving of oneself and a receiving from the other person. The word for friend, chaver, comes from the Hebrew verb lechaber, to unite to blend together.  Thus, two friends unite into one by each giving of himself or herself to acquire that friendship. Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsh Commentary to this verse claims that the meaning of the word for love or friendship, ahav, is derived from two Aramaic words meaning “I give.” Thus, friendship implies giving more than taking.  AMEMEI 77

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GENESIS — 22:3 early

GEN1132 There is a concept of urgency and of “rushing” to perform commandments.   Judaism lauds the person who gets up especially early to do a mitzvah as soon as possible. Rosh Hashana 32b, based on [this verse] describing Abraham, who arose especially early to fulfill God’s word in readiness to sacrifice his son Isaac.   Therefore, it is customary to try to do a time-bound mitzvah as early as possible, such as performing a brit milah (ritual circumcision) as early as possible in the morning of the eighth day of a baby boy’s life.  Shulchan Aruch, Toreh De’ah 262:1.  AMEMEI 283

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GENESIS — 23:2 mourn

GEN1145 Dating … is a very recent phenomenon … however, there are enough ideas found in Jewish writings that give us an understanding of what constitutes a proper and improper “Jewish date.”  Most teens and even some adults go out on a date because: (1) they wish to have fun or a good time, (2) there is peer pressure to go out (when everyone else is out Saturday night, no one wants it known that they stayed home), or (3) there is a desire for sexual fulfillment. Those people who give a forth reason and say they are dating because they are “preparing for marriage” are rationalizing or are misinformed.  The rate of divorce among heavy daters may be even greater than the rate of divorce among people who get married without much dating.   Dating has never truly prepared anyone for marriage.   All the reasons cited for dating are not “Jewish” reasons.   These reasons are all selfish, and show that the person is out for fulfillment or his or her needs and not for the development of a relationship with the other person. …   When a person is more concerned about the needs of the other person than his or her own needs, it is a genuine relationship.   Most teenagers are not mature enough to forgo their own needs for those of another and hence are not ready for dating in the Jewish sense of the word.   Of course, on a “Jewish” date, the couple is still governed by all the laws regarding no sexual contact and of Yichud.  This is certainly the proper Jewish order: first the nonsexual relationship demonstrating compatibility on the levels of values and interests, and only later will the sexual, physical, emotional relationship come, following marriage … After Sarah died, it says [this verse] that Abraham first eulogized Sarah and then he cried for her.  The intellectual relationship of eulogy preceded the emotional relationship of crying, since in life, too, this was how they lived.   They first related on the nonsexual, intellectual level and only then related on the sexual, emotional level.   When Isaac met Rebecca, the order of their relationship was no different, as it says Genesis 24:67 that first Isaac brought Rebecca to his tent and only afterwards he loved her.  Like his father, Abraham, Isaac first related to his wife on the nonsexual, intellectual level and only then related on the emotional, sexual level.   The laws surrounding Jewish sexuality at first sound a bit outdated because they differ so radically from the attitudes of general society.  However, a careful analysis of this sexual life-style shows a special sensitivity by Judaism for love, sex, and the emotional needs of two human beings of the opposite sex.  AMEMEI 264-5

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GENESIS — 25:27 became

GEN1212 Possibly the most important educational principle for a Jewish parent to adhere to is the nation of bringing up each child according to his or her unique personality, character traits, and talents.   [Hirsch commentary, this verse].   To demonstrate this, Samson Raphael Hirsch asks a simple but difficult question.   We can understand why one of Abraham’s children, Yishmael, went off the proper path, since although he had Abraham for a father, his genes and environment were somewhat tainted by having the maidservant Hagar for a mother.   However, how is it possible to understand why one of Isaac’s sons, Esau, went off the proper path?   After all, both parents, Rebecca and Isaac, were righteous, and the home environment was a proper Jewish one?   Hirsch answers that a clue is provided by th[is] verse that says that the brothers Esau and Jacob grew up, and only then it indicates that Esau was a hunter while Jacob dwelt in the tent (of study).   It is clear, according to Hirsch, based on this verse, that both Esau and Jacob, born as twins, were raised in precisely the same environment and with the same methodology.   Rebecca and Isaac raised both of their children identically, and that was their mistake.  They did not take into account that Esau possessed a different personality from Jacob and needed his own special environment in order to be raised to become a righteous human being.  Esau rebelled against this upbringing, which did not suit his personality and temperament, and turned to the evil path.  Had Isaac and Rebecca realized Esau’s unique personality traits early on, they could have raised him differently and he could also have become righteous like Jacob.   AMEMEI 208

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GENESIS — 27:36 supplant

GEN1254 [One reason for anti-Semitism that] can be seen in the Torah as well as in many countries today is jealousy.  Non-Jews, jealous of success of the Jews, tend to hate them for this success.   This was first seen in the blessings given by Isaac to his son.  Not only was Esau angry because Jacob “stole” the blessings, but he was also jealous that Jacob somehow always got ahead (that is the meaning of the word Jacob) and that Jacob would now get much merit while he, Esau, would get less.   Esau felt outwitted, according to Rashi.   According to most commentaries, the stories of Jacob and Esau are prototypes for what will transpire in all generations between Jew and non-Jew.   AMEMEI 12

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GENESIS — 32:9 escape

GEN1367 How did Jacob prepare for war?   Rashi and other commentaries, based on the text, say that he prepared in three distinct ways: through gifts of appeasement for Esau Genesis 32:14-21, through prayer Genesis 32:10-13, and through preparations for actual battle Genesis 32:8-9.  Thus, we can infer that these three preparations are legitimate Jewish methods of readying for and fighting a war.   The first step is to try to avoid war completely by trying to appease the adversary, if possible.  Simultaneously, Jews should pray for God’s assistance to avert the war or for victory, and this is also a legitimate means of fighting war.   Since the outcome of the war is ultimately in the hands of the Almighty, heartfelt prayer (and Torah learning) can have an impact on the war’s outcome. … Only when all other tactics failed to prevent war was Jacob prepared to fight.  AMEMEI 307-8

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GENESIS — 32:12 brother

GEN1378 The ideal Jewish existence is to live in the land of Israel under Jewish rule, but unfortunately history shows that the Jew has mostly lived outside the land of Israel in the Diaspora among the non-Jewish majority.   Even in the period of the Torah itself, most of the time the Jewish nation lived outside of the land.   Therefore, it is necessary to ask what the relationship of the Jews should be with the non-Jews among whom they live? How much interaction, if any, should there be between the Jew and his non-Jewish neighbor who is a part of the majority population?  Strong arguments can be made that being friendly with the surrounding non-Jewish community is something positive and often necessary. But caution must be used because becoming too friendly can easily lead to assimilation.   So there is good reason to keep one’s distance and remain separate from the non-Jewish community.   But the danger of segregating too much is that it can easily led to anti-Semitism. … Both of these dangers are alluded to in explaining an extraneous phrase in [this verse].   Jacob prays to God to save him from the threat of his brother, Esau.   In the verse, Jacob says “save me from my brother, from Esau.”  Since Jacob had only one brother and since no word or phrase is “extra” in the Torah, why was the double expression “From my brother” and “from Esau” used?   They are one and the same.   One commentary explains that Jacob was asking God for protection from two types of threats – one when Esau, the personification of the non-Jew in the Bible, act like Esau, the anti-Semite, and another threat, when Esau, the no-Jew, acts like a brother, when the threat comes from assimilation.  AMEMEI 136

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