GEN931 It is more important to invite guests who truly need your hospitality than to invite those who do not.  Rabbi Yudan explained that Avraham’s guests did not rally require refreshment since they were angels.  They merely appeared to be eating and drinking in order to please Avraham.   As a result of Avraham’s act of kindness, the Almighty rewarded his descendants when they were in the Sinai desert.   They received the manna, a well of water sprung up for them, they were provided with quails, they were encircled by clouds of glory, and a pillar of cloud journeyed before them.   Rabbi Shimon, in the name of Rabbi Eliezer, said that the aforementioned act of kindness and subsequent reward constitute a kal vechomer (an interference from minor to major): “Avraham was greatly rewarded for showing kindness to those who did not need kindness.   All the more so, the Almighty rewards someone who shows kindness to those who need it.”  Leviticus 34:8  The Chofetz Chayim writes that although the mitzvah of having guests applies even when the guest is wealthy and not in dire need of your favors, it is a greater mitzvah to have guests who arte poor. He adds that people are happy to entertain wealthy guests and will honor them as much a possible.   But, unfortunately, they are much less anxious – sometimes even reluctant – to have truly needy people as guests. Ahavas Chesed, part 3, ch. 1.  PLYN 68

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GEN937 Look for opportunities to endear a wife to her husband and a husband to his wife.   Rashi cites the Talmud Baba Metzia 87a which states that the angels knew that due to modesty Sara remained in her tent.  Nevertheless, they asked Avraham her whereabouts in order to give him the satisfaction of recalling his wife’s modesty, thereby further endearing her to him.   Rabbi Chayim Shmuelevitz commented that Avraham and Sara were both very old at the time and had been married for many ears.  Nevertheless, the angels felt it appropriate to point out Sara’s good qualities to her husband.  An important lesson about married couples can be learned from this.   Regardless of a couple’s age and the lengthy of time they have been married, it is always worthwhile to endear one to the other and to careful not to say anything derogatory about a husband to a wife or vice versa.  PLYN 72

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GEN980 We should not shirk our responsibility to do chesed.   From this verse we see the importance that God places on chesed.  When Sodom was to be destroyed, God told Avraham about the impending destruction in advance. Avraham merited this prophetic disclosure by virtue of his intention to teach the ways of kindness to his descendants.   The Talmud Yevamot 79a explains that the word tzedakah in this verse refers to all forms of chesed and states that doing chesed is one of the three basic attributes of the Jewish people.   Rambam comments about this verse: “We must be more careful about charity than with any other positive commandment because charity is one of the signs of our lineage from Avraham our foregather, as it is written, [This verse].   Laws of Gifts to the Poor 10:1.   PLYN 74

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GEN1005 Failure to aid the poor is a most serious crime.   Rabainu Yonah noted: “We find concerning the sin of Sodom, that although they sinned with many perverse acts such as robbery, violence, miscarriage of justice and illicit relations, Scripture attributes their annihilation to their failure to practice charity, as it is stated, ‘Behold, this was the transgression of your sister Sodom: pride …neither did she uphold the poor and the needy’ Ezekiel 16:49.”  Rabbi Simcha Zissel Ziv explained why this is so. We are obligated to emulate the ways of God. We must bestow kindness upon others, just as He bestows kindness upon the entire world. If someone lacks the desire to emulate God, it shows a lack of appreciation of God’s divine providence. For if a person is sincerely aware of God’s goodness to him, he too will bestow kindness upon others.   Therefore, the failure to perform acts of chesed is not merely one specific fault; it implies a denial of God. Chochma Umussar, vol. 1, p. 32).  PLYN 75

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GEN1014 We should pray for the welfare of others regardless of their shortcomings. … Abraham preached the doctrine of hospitality to wayfarers, whereas these cities persecuted wayfarers and outlawed any display of kindness toward them.  Even though the people of Sodom negated all of his teachings, Abraham nonetheless pleased with God on their behalf.  He, the truly God fearing man Genesis 22:13, dared to bargain stubbornly with God for the Sodomites.  We stand amazed at the vigor and tenacity of his entreaties for the sake of these wicked and undeserving men.  (Rabbi Avigdor Miller in Behold a People, p. 46; see Michtav MaiEliyahu, vol. 2, p. 181).   PLYN 76-77

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GEN1061 We should not interrupt people when they are speaking.   Avraham asked God to spare the inhabitants of Sodom for the sake of the righteous people in the midst of the city (verses 23-32). The Creator knew that Sodom was devoid of righteous people; nevertheless, He allowed Avraham to finish speaking.  From here we can learn the importance of allowing people to finish speaking without interrupting them.  Pirke Avos 5:7 and Avos D’Reb Noson 37:12.   PLYN 77

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GEN1084 If we have wronged someone we are obligated to ask for his forgiveness.   … The Chofetz Chayim used to say that transgression against a fellow man is worse than a transgression against God.   You can always ask God for forgiveness.   But if you have sinned against a fellow man, how will you ask him for forgiveness if he has moved far away and you do not know his address? Rabbi Schmuel Pliskin in Der Chofez Chayim, p. 25   PLYN 78

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GEN1090 The only factor that can ultimately prevent someone from murdering is fear of God.   After God warned Avimelech to restore Sara to her husband, Avimelech summoned Avraham, and demanded an explanation for his claiming to be Sara’s brother.   Avraham told Avimelech that individuals or nations might appear to be great philosophers and humanitarians; they might even have proper manners and good character traits.  But as long as their morality is based on their own logic, we can never be certain that when their desire to do evil is strong, their logic will be able to overcome that desire.  There is only one restraint that we can rely upon to prevent a person from committing a crime: fear of God.  When a person has an overpowering desire to do something wrong, but realizes that God is aware of every hidden act, he will be ashamed to commit the offense.   Avraham therefore said in effect: “Even if you are righteous, since you lack fear of God, I fear that you will murder me to take my wife.” Malbim, commentary on this verse.   PLYN 81

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GEN1091 We should forgive people who have wronged us. Avimelech caused Avraham much grief by trying to take away his wife, Sara.   Nevertheless, when Avimelech apologized, Avraham forgave him and prayed to God on his behalf.  The Mishnah cites Abraham’s behavior as an example of how we are obligated to react when asked for forgiveness.  We are forbidden to be cruel toward someone who sincerely seeks our forgiveness; rather we must forgive him wholeheartedly.   Baba Kama 92a; Hilchot Diaso 6:6; Choshen Mishpat 422:1.   It should be noted that Avimelech did not regret his behavior on his own.   He asked Abraham for forgiveness only after God appeared to him in a dream and threatened his life unless he returned Sara to Abraham.   Nevertheless, Abraham forgave him wholeheartedly and prayer for his welfare. Rabbi Avraham Shmuel Finkel in Yad Eliezer, vol. 1, p. 174.  [See also, detailed discussion of laws of forgiveness].   PLYN 82

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GEN1118 When you reprove someone who has wronged you, have his good in mind.   …. The Chofetz Chayim points out that the Torah does not state that Avraham reproved Avimelech for stealing his (Avraham’s) wells.   Rather, Avraham admonished Avimelech for not having prevented his servants from behaving dishonestly.   It was the wrong that bothered Avraham – that the servants were not restrained – and not his person loss.   HaChofetz Chayim, vol 3.   When you admonish someone for having wronged you, do not allow personal anger to taint the reproach.   Your goal should be to correct the other person’s behavior and not to “get even” with him.  PLYN 84-5

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