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NUMBERS — 32:2 spoke

NUM375 A person should appreciate rebuke. The tribes of Reuven and Gad requested permission from Moshe to settle on the east bank of the Jordan River. Moshe censored to them at length (verses 6 to 15) for what he assumed to be an incipient stage of revolt. Moses told them that the Children of Israel were commanded by God to enter Eretz Yisroel, but when they would see that these two tribes refused to go any further, they also would not consent to continue traveling to the proper destination. After patiently listening to Moses's rebuke, the tribes of Reuven and Gad replied (verses 16 to 19) that they had no intention of shirking their responsibility to aid in the conquering of Eretz Yisroel. They would be at the forefront of the battle and only after victory would they return to the east bank of the Jordan. Although their intentions were honorable throughout, they remained silent while Moshe had scolded them. To hear rebuke is a privilege that a person should cherish.

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NUMBERS — 32:14 brood

NUM377 Although anger is an extremely evil trait, one must sometimes conduct himself in accordance with this trait, like when it is necessary to chastise the wicked, or to instill fear in the members of his household, or to cast his fear upon his students. And when one is angry with transgressors, he must weigh the extent of his anger. Because Moshe our teacher, may peace be upon him, said to the children of Reuven and Gad [this verse]: "You are a brood of sinful men," his descendant became a priest of idols--even though he was angry for the sake of Heaven. All of man's actions require the proper measure. He must deliberate how to perform the mitzvos, both when angry and when in good spirits. If a man has the trait of anger and he suppresses his trait and his habit as if he were not one of the angry ones, about him it is written (Mishlei 16:32): "Better is he who withholds his wrath than the hero, and he who rules his spirit than a conqueror of a city"; and withholding of wrath is one of the thirteen attributes stated in relation to the Blessed Creator. The Sage has said, "He whose anger comes upon him with thought, upon him you will see composure and grace, and he whose anger comes upon him with thoughtlessness, upon him you will see folly." The Sage has said further: "He whose anger is strong and his wrath intent is not far from the demented." And he who is given to anger, his life is no life (Pesachim 113b), and he is never happy. And since he is never happy, he does not accept what transpires with love and joy, he does not acknowledge the rightness of God's justice with him, and he cannot serve the Blessed One with joy.

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NUMBERS — 32:14 sinful

NUM378 "In all thy ways, know Him"--Even when a man of piety finds it necessary to rebuke sinners, he should control his anger. While expressing indignation, he should be inwardly calm. Even Moses was punished for his anger [this verse], with his grandson Micah becoming an idolater (Judges 18:31). Though it was for the sake of heaven that he became angry, there is the right measure for all things. Sefer Hassadim, p 137.

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NUMBERS — 32:16 sheepfolds

NUM379 Judaism would have us recognize the idolatry inherent in a life devoted exclusively to work and would have a balance our commitments to work with serious time and energy spent on other important values, most especially those of family. Overzealous commitment to work does have a deleterious effect on one's sexual and family relationships, (Classical Jewish law recognized this in demanding that a man who wanted to change to a job that would require him to be home less often could do so only with his wife's permission, even if the new job meant he would earn more money. His wife's permission was also necessary if he wanted to ply his trade in a far away place rather than a near one. See B. Ketubbot 61b, 62b; M.T. Laws of Marriage 14:2 and S.A. Even Ha'ezer 76:5) and the Jewish tradition would have us remember that one's family should take precedence over one's job. This is poignantly stated in the Rabbis' comment on (this verse) where the tribes of Ruben and Gad asked to stay in the lands the Israelites had already conquered on the eastern bank of the Jordan River so that "we might build sheep pens for our Flocks and cities for our children." On this the Rabbis comment: "They were more worried about their possessions than they were about their sons and daughters, for they mentioned their flocks before their children. Moses said to them: "Do not do that; what is primary should be primary and what is secondary, secondary. Build first cities for your children and afterwards pens for your Flocks." Tanhuma, Mattot, 1:7, and see Rashi on this verse and Numbers Rabbah 22:9) As both men and women in our society are increasingly taking on the responsibilities of careers, then, it is important to reaffirm that both men and women have critically important rules to play in providing marital companionship for each other and raising their children. Achieving a proper balance of work and family, of course, is not easy. Since most parents in our day do not live with an extended family nearby, the full burden of supporting themselves while simultaneously rearing children falls completely on them. Moreover, especially for men, but increasingly for women as well, American society defines "success" almost totally in terms of climbing the ladder at one's job. Years from now, though, when we look back on our lives, most of us will not feel bad that we did not spend more time working; we will instead regret the time that we did not spend with our spouse and children, particularly when they were young and readily available for interaction. All too often, it is not until children reach their teens or twenties that parents feel secure enough in their jobs to find the time to do things with their children; by that time, however, the children are interested in building their own independent lives and rarely have time or interest in doing things with Mom or Dad. Judaism's long-term vision about what is really important in life, as embedded in the Rabbis' commentary on the request of the tribes of Rueben and Gad, should help us keep our priorities straight as young adults and as older spouses and parents as well.

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