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GENESIS — 32:11 unworthy

GEN1377 The Fear of Losing Gan Eden.   Behold, the reward of mitzvos supercedes everything in the spiritual world, for one hour of pleasure in the World to Come is worth more than all the pleasures of this world. However, wouldn’t it be wonderful if every man was guaranteed that the reward for his mitzvos, whether a little or a lot would be preserved for him in Gan Eden? If this were so, even though “there is no righteous man on the earth who does not sin,” [Ecclesiastes 7:20 – AJL] nevertheless, every man would be filled with hope. For after one would receive the punishment for all of his transgressions, he would ultimately receive his reward in Gan Eden. The very fruit of his deeds – “his inheritance” -- is the reward for his mitzvos. Therefore, truthfully, just as he should fear the punishment for his transgressions, so save his soul from Gehinnom, so, too, he must worry that he has not lost the reward of mitzvos in Gan Eden. For sometimes a man receives his reward in this world [instead of the World to Come]. The Talmud (Shabbos 32a) teaches that even the patriarchs feared this: “A man should never stand in a dangerous place … if Hashem must perform a miracle to save him—then it is subtracted from his merits. Rebbi Chanina said, ‘What is the meaning of the verse [wherein Yaakov expressed his fear], “I have been diminished by all the kindness…” [this verse]?’” Rashi explains, “’I have been diminished’ – My merits diminished and lessened because of the kindness which You did…” (See the text.)   Also, the Midrash Rabbah (Parashas Lech Lecha 44:3) extrapolates the verse in Genesis 15:1: “’Fear not, Avram’—Avraham Avinu was afraid and said, ‘I descended into the fiery furnace and was saved, I went down to fight the war of the kings and was saved. You [Hashem] will say that I received my reward in this world, and I have no portion left for the World to Come.’ HaKadosh Baruch Hu said to him, ‘Fear not, Avram. I am your shield. Everything I did for you in this world was gratis, but your reward is fixed for the future to come’” (see the text of the Midrash Rabbah). … we must comprehend the answer of HaKadosh Baruch Hu, “Everything I did for you in the world was gratis.” We can, therefore, infer that one does not merit “free” kindness, then even if he is willing to give his life to sanctify Hashem—and HaKadosh Baruch Hu performs a miracle for him and saves him in some way – his merits will be subtracted. OHRYIS 464-6

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